How can it be wrong?
by Jessica-loves-Katherine
Summary: Olivia Benson never thought she'd find the one, but it seems that fate is on her side. But what happens when the one you fall for is forbidden? O/K I know it's unusual but hey, I like to be different.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one – A walk in the park.

**A/N: So this is my first ever fic. I really hope you like it. A few things your going to need to know first: In this fic Olivia is 27, Kathleen is 18. I envision Kathleen as Ashley Olsen. Visit my profile for the pictures. **

On her rare days off Olivia Benson usually hung around the squad room of Manhattans Special Victims Unit trying to help out whilst avoiding Captain Cragen as he would no doubt give her an earful and send or home or she'd be trying to catch up on some much needed sleep. Usually in her lonely apartment or the squad's cribs, more often than not she skipped going home altogether and crashed on the tiny cots reserved for when the squad need to catch a few hours during hard cases. For Olivia it was a home away from home.

As fate would have it, today, Olivia felt the need to roam the city. It had been a while since Olivia had ventured out for anything except rushing to crime scenes or chasing suspects, but the streets were calling the young detective. So she bade farewell to her partner Elliot Stabler in favour of the polluted air of the streets of New York.

Xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Walking around central park Olivia was in a world of her own. Their last case had really gotten to her. Cases with children always did but somehow this one seemed to affect her more than usual. _Maybe I'm just over tired_ she concluded.

If she had been paying attention she would have seen well in advance that her path was obstructed by an attractive young blonde. That however would mean she would never meet the intriguing young woman.

'Ouch' cried the young blonde that she almost knocked over.

'I'm so sorry, I really should pay more attention to where I'm going' Olivia apologised.

'No harm done' the blonde smiled as she saw how attractive the taller brunette was that stood in front of her, arms around her middle to stop her from toppling over. 'Really, it's okay. You can however keep your arms around me if you really want.' she winked.

Olivia blushed as she reluctantly removed her toned arms from the strikingly beautiful blonde in front of her. 'Oh . . . I'm sorry'.

'Don't be. I liked it.' The blonde smiled teasingly. 'You saved me from certain death . . .' she glanced down spotting a badge and gun, the tell tale signs that this was a cop '. . . detective'.

'How did you know I was a cop?' Olivia asked, her confusion written all over her face.

The young blonde looked down and Olivia followed the path of her oddly familiar blue eyes. 'I saw the Badge and gun when I was checking you out' the blonde smiled innocently.

'Oh . . . you were checking me out?' Olivia blushed.

'Yeah' she giggled, 'That okay . . . detective?' she asked with suggestion lacing her soft voice.

'Uh . . . um . . . y-yeah' the flustered detective stuttered. Beyond surprised that this young blonde woman found her attractive. Something weird was happening within the strong detective, a rush of feelings that she hadn't felt in a long time, not since Alex. She realised that she was attracted to this woman; the realisation hit her like a ton of bricks. She knew she and Alex were over long before witness protection but thought that maybe it was her feelings for Alex that stopped her from feeling anything for anyone else.

Had Olivia not finally accepted she was gay she would have run a mile, but she had long come to face that she preferred the fairer sex, only not that many people knew, not even her best friend and partner Elliot. Who always insisted on setting her up on blind dates with old marine buddies and other such men he thought she would like. And time and again she would go, reluctant to tell the catholic man that she was in fact gay and that she'd rather be set up with friends of his wife Kathy.

'Good' the blonde broke the comfortable silence that had fallen over them as Olivia had tried to come up with something intelligent to say knowing that the blonde had been blatantly checking her out and had forwardly admitted it to the now extremely blushing brunette detective. 'I was hoping you'd say that'.

_Gosh, this woman is flirting with me, flirt back you fool _Olivia berated herself.

'I um, I uh . . . I mean . . . who wouldn't be okay with a beautiful woman checking them out?' Olivia tried to flirt. _Smooth, now she definitely thinks you're a fool._

The younger blonde woman smiled up at Olivia, silently thinking about how adorable the blushing woman was.

'Walk with me?' the blonde boldly declared, more of a statement than a request. Olivia was happy to oblige. She nodded her answer yes.

As the pair walked they not so slyly stole glances at each other, both a little surprised at the strong attraction that was gripping them. They walked around the park for the next 3 hours just talking and not so subtly flirting. They were sitting in the grass by a small lake, shoulders and thighs touching when Olivia received a phone call from the Captain requesting her presence at the precinct.

She smiled at her companion, and said that she was needed.

'Go save the world' the blonde announced.

Olivia was halfway to the precinct when she realised that she didn't even know the young woman's name, they both hadn't thought to ask. As she started to panic their conversation from a few hours back sprang to mind. The park! The young blonde disclosed how she often ventured there after a particularly hard lecture at Hudson University.

**A/N: Please leave a review and let me know what you think. Oh and a huge shout out to abbierena who inspired me to write. You go girl!**


	2. Chapter 2 30 dollars

Chapter two – 30 dollars

**A/N: I was so excited to see the response to my first chapter! You all made me smile. Especially abbierena. **

**abbierena: **I know right, 27 year old Olivia hot right? Have you seen the pics I put links to on my bio page, one of them nearly made me drool. No joke LOL. I've never seen a fic with these two so I thought it would be a nice challenge to add to the mix. I'm glad you're hooked, was my aim LOL. For being the first to review hers a virtual hug *hugs* =P

**Quinn: **I agree they are too cute!

**Wiggles: **You've got me craving Jelly tots now, mmmmmmm! And I totally agree with you, who would refuse to sleep next to Olivia in a tiny cot? Not me that's for sure. OUCH! Just got hit over the head by the girlfriend as she just saw what I wrote, but she agrees with me, as long as she can join in LOL. What can I say? My girls the best. Oh and like the name by the way.

**Kryss:** I like them as a pair too.

**I'llbearound: **Yeah I bet he will be mad LOL. I wonder how he will find out, hmmm?

**No name reviewers: **Yes the pics are hot! Drool worthy! What do you mean Elliot doesn't deserve what's going to happen? Do you mean his daughter being gay and getting with his partner? If so he may be upset but I don't think deserve has anything to do with it but liked the rest of you review, Elliot's religious views probably will influence his reaction your right. And you have to wait and see how Olivia will deal with her conflicting feelings =)

**Okay thanks guys . . . on with the show =) **

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

Two incredibly busy work filled days later Olivia found herself resting against the edge of her partners mahogany desk with her back to the squad rooms door. They had just closed a high profile case where a high society member's child was involved in child pornography and were waiting for the dreaded call of announcing another victim. Whilst the peace lasted though, Olivia was enjoying a carefree conversation with her best friend and partner Elliot. Today's topic of choice . . . wonder woman. "Definitely beats superman," Olivia argued.

For the past two days all Olivia could think about was the blonde woman from the park, the way her hair almost glowed when the sun hit it just right, the way the blue of her eyes seemed oddly familiar yet different than any she'd seen before, almost hypnotising. The way she leaned close when they were flirting by the lake and how the gentle afternoon breeze carried the most delicious sent of vanilla and something uniquely her from the enticing blonde. The way her breath caught in her throat when the blonde smile. How her infectious giggle led Olivia Benson to giggle. Yeah, Olivia Bad-ass Benson actually giggled.

"Dad, Gosh why did you ask me to meet you here? You know I hate this place, that's why I haven't come by to visit you here since I was like 13," a familiar voice ceased the detectives' conversation. Olivia froze. She'd know that voice anywhere. She'd been dreaming of it since they met two days ago. _Wait . . . she just said Dad? Her father works here? . . . Oh my GOD!_

Olivia's blood seemed to freeze and heat up at the same time; she could hear her heartbeat in her ears. Realisation had taken over; the young woman she had shamelessly flirted with in the park and since then found herself fantasising about was Elliot's daughter. Her partner's daughter. Her best friend's daughter. _Fuck!_

"Kathleen, munchkin, I'd like you to meet my partner Detective Olivia Benson. I don't know how you've managed to go this long without meeting. I mean . . . how long have we been partners now Liv? 5 years?" Elliot spoke, oblivious to his partners growing discomfort. _He really needs to update the family photo on his desk, idiot. _

"Hey, my names Kathleen it's nice to finally meet . . ." Kathleen trailed off as Olivia turned around.

" . . . you," she finished on a whisper.

Olivia quickly found her voice not wanting to disclose to Elliot that they had already met and the circumstances under which they did. "It's uh . . . nice too meet you too . . . errr . . . Kathleen. Olivia held out her hand.

Kathleen, as if on autopilot reached out to take the hand the brunette was offering her and shook it. The sparks both women felt fortunately seemed to go unnoticed by the male detective who went on to explain how he'd been trying to get Kathleen to come by for a while to meet Olivia.

"Okay dad, I don't think Olivia needs to know about how I avoid this place," Olivia was surprised to find she loved the way her named sounded falling from the lips of the beauty in front of her. _Okay bad Olivia! Stop! Naughty thoughts! This is Elliot's daughter, do not go there ._But it was as if her brain was not currently connected to her mouth as she quickly responded without her brains permission, "It's okay, I like learning things about you," and gave a flirtatious smile. _Oh I am so going to hell!_

Even though Elliot was well known in throughout the department as one of the best detectives in the whole of New York he didn't catch on to the silent conversation his daughter and partner were having with their eyes.

"Stabler, My office, NOW!" came the booming voice of the usually stoic Captain of 1-6.

"What did I do this time?" Elliot grumbled.

"Do me a favour Liv, take Kathleen up to my locker and give her 30 dollars out of my wallet?" he plead, having a feeling that he was being summoned because of the black eye their most recent perp happened to acquire out on the field.

"Sure El, no problem," Olivia replied fighting the urge to touch the blonde, having to forcefully remind herself that this was Elliot's kid and she was off limits.

"Thanks partner. 30 dollars Kathleen, no more! I'll see you when you decide to grace your family with your presence next. I miss you when you stay at the dorms kiddo."

"Dad, don't call me kiddo, I'm 18!" Kathleen declared. _Oh thank god, she's of legal age._ Olivia breathed a sigh of relief, worried that Kathleen was way too young since it was revealed she was Elliot's child. _What am I thinking of course she's too young. God Olivia control yourself woman. She's Elliot's 'kiddo', his . . . 'munchkin'. _She gulped, she was in trouble.

Elliot ruffled her lightly curled her before hurrying of to take what was sure to be an ear bashing from his boss.

As soon as Elliot was out of sight Olivia grabbed Kathleen's slightly smaller hand and all but dragged up through the busy squad room and up the stairs to the cribs and lockers.

After checking they were alone Olivia hastily locked the door and began to franticly pace.

"Olivia, calm down. What's wrong?" Kathleen asked, finding the brunettes flustered state oddly charming, adding to already high appeal.

"What's wrong? Seriously . . .? Are you kidding me Kathleen . . . ?" Olivia flapped.

Without waiting for a response she continued, "Your Elliot's daughter! His pride and joy. And I flirted with you! Don't you see what's wrong with that picture? It's highly inappropriate," without giving Kathleen a chance to jump in she pressed on.

"He's my partner. He's my best friend. Oh my God! He's going to hate me" she cried, increasing the frantic pace of her incessant pacing, her voice breaking.

Finally finding a chance to get her word in Kathleen tried to ease the detectives worrying. She stepped forward hesitantly, not wanting to alarm the on edge women. She had grown up with a cop father long enough to know that startling a frantic cop isn't smart, especially one as volatile as Elliot. Not that he'd ever hurt his children.

She calmly placed her hands on the slightly taller woman's shoulders causing the other woman to cease her movements with a sharp intake of breath the moment hands touched skin; she waited for Olivia looked at her before she spoke.

"You haven't done anything wrong Olivia. So we flirted? Who cares?" Olivia felt herself grow disappointed and felt a little hurt at the way the flippant way the blonde dismissed their previous flirtations. The hurt must have been written on her face because Kathleen seemed to catch on to how her words sounded and immediately tried to rephrase her thoughts.

"Oh . . . Olivia I didn't mean it like that. I just meant . . . God I really need to think before I let my mouth run off I mean jeez Kathleen. Motor mouth much?" Kathleen chided herself, garnering giggles from the now smirking brunette. Olivia found her ramblings rather endearing.

"Hey don't laugh it's not funny. Look what I meant was . . . why should it matter that we flirted? We are both adults who . . . well . . . I don't know about you but I find myself strongly attracted to you" the blonde smiled bashfully.

Olivia felt something inside her shift, not a physical something, more of a butterflies in the stomach feeling. She couldn't help but be in awe of the intriguing creature in front of her. She wanted to go there, really she did. She wanted Kathleen more than she's ever wanted anything but Elliot kept popping up in her musings. His disappointed, hurt features boring into her sole, and then casting her aside like she was nothing. And she couldn't risk that. Elliot was her best friend, other than Casey. He was practically like her family and that was something she wasn't ready to give up, which would undoubtedly happen if she where to pursue a relationship with his baby girl.

She must have been silent for some time, just staring at Kathleen because the young woman's soft voice suddenly sounded in her ears.

"I'm sorry what?" Olivia questioned.

"I said say something Olivia."

"Sorry . . . I was just . . . thinking," she whispered. "Your right Kathleen, we are both adults. And yeah I have found myself drawn to you, feeling . . . something." She saw hope rise in Kathleen's eyes and instantly felt rotten for giving her false hope.

"But . . ." Olivia began.

"No . . . please no buts, you were doing good before the but," Kathleen interrupted, her face fell and her hoped dwindled. Olivia sensed this changed and scolded herself internally, hating that she was the cause of the blonde's sadness.

"But . . ." Olivia continued, "I have a choice of whether to act on them, and I'm so sorry Kathleen, believe me! But I've decided I can't act on them. Your father is really important to me, he's not just my colleague or my partner . . . he's . . ."

"Oh no don't tell me your having an affair with him?" Kathleen felt sick to her stomach.

Olivia laughed at the absurdity of the suggestion.

"No Kathleen, let me assure you that's not even remotely true. I'm gay. What I was saying is that he means more to me than being just my partner, he's also my best friend, and I know that if anything were to happen between us, I'd lose that and I just . . . I just . . . I just can't. I'm so sorry" a single tear fell from her hazels eyes. Kathleen wanted to be angry with her, but how could she be after hearing that?

"I understand Olivia," Kathleen smiled sweetly, holding back tears. Both wondering how it was possible to feel so much for someone after so little time. Wondering how it could hurt this much.

"Thank you," Olivia hesitantly stepped forward and held the petite blonde close. She breathed in the heady scent of vanilla and what she now knew was Kathleen's unique scent and sighed sadly.

"Let me get you that 30 dollars."

**A/N: So um . . . yeah there's chapter two for you =) I really hope you like it. I'd be grateful if you would leave me a review telling me what you thought and how you think I can improve. I would really appreciate constructive criticism. Don't be afraid to tell me if you don't like something or if something's not entirely working for me. Anyhow I'm currently at a McDonalds with my laptop using their wifi to upload this for all you lovely people out there, especially a special reviewer who said she couldn't wait for me to update my next chapter. Much love x**


	3. Chapter 3  Kevin

Chapter Three- Kevin

**A/N: I can't believe I have 13 reviews for two chapters, it's awesome. Thank you to everyone who read and reviewed you are all amazing!**

**abbierena: **I would love them as live size to! I have them as posters on my wall! And yep Olivia has got herself into a bit of a sticky situation eh. Yeah Kathleen is crushed, I know I would be. I tried to make it as real as possible, emotionally. I told Katie about your comment and so she did LOL.

**Katie: **My beautiful girlfriend! You are my life baby =P Fantastic story eh? Thanks sweetheart =) Baby you didn't have to defend me, it's just someone who doesn't like what I write about, it's okay. And it is constructive criticism, I know now that I need to proof read my work a little more as I made a few little errors last time. I'm glad you're proud of me. Yeah you were an inspiration for Kathleen. I love your smell! I love you too, so much! The naughty things you were talking about . . . wow =P

**Quinn:** Yeah wonder woman is better, girl power!

**So here it goes.**

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

"Ughh . . . That smarmy son of a bitch needs that smirk slapped of his face!" Olivia exclaimed. She literally wanted to hurt the basterd behind the reinforced glass of interview room 2.

"How can he just sit there and grin at us after all the heinous things he admitted did to that poor girl? She will never be the same . . . and he's just fucking smiling! He stole her childhood Elliot. God I hate this job sometimes!" Olivia continued her rant.

"I know Liv," Elliot tried to calm the enraged detective "but at least we got the guy! The prick will be in locked up in Rikers for a long, long time. He isn't ever getting out so long as Novac gets a conviction".

"Yeah . . . I supposes all is good" she retorted sarcasm dripping like venom from her icy tone "that smug basterd gets to live out his days in a cushy cell while an 11 year old year is scared for life by what that cruel piece of crap did to her, yeah justice really is fantastic!".

"I know, it sucks but at least we got him off the streets, he can't get to any other girls. And you know what they do to creeps like him behind bars. Once they find out he raped a child his life will be hell!"

"Because that makes up for it? Jesus Elliot you're infuriating sometimes."

Olivia knows she was being irrational but sometimes she just needed to vent, and Elliot, being her best friend and the closest person to her bore the brunt of her fiery temper, on more than one occasion.

Elliot knew she was just frustrated that she couldn't take Tamara's pain away, heck he wished with every fibre in his being that he could somehow take it all away but he knew he couldn't.

"I'm sorry Olivia," he reached out and gently, comfortingly squeezed her shoulder.

"Tell that to our victim!"

Unbeknownst to the pair, the young blonde who had been on Olivia's mind since the incident by the lockers almost two weeks ago was leaning against Olivia's desk watching the altercation. Secretly admiring how hot the female detective was when angry. Admiring her passion for the job, wondering if she carried that passion over to the bedroom.

"Whoa . . . back off Dad before she shoots you!" Kathleen Stabler chuckled.

Olivia caught off guard, spun on her heals to face the smiling blonde.

"Sorry. I'm just frustrated and your Dad was in the firing line. I'm not usually such a bitch," Olivia blushed feeling like a prize ass. Feeling the need to defend herself. _Great, now she thinks you're a cow!_

"It's okay, it's good to vent. You can take it eh Dad?" the 18 year old joked good naturedly not wanting her crush to feel awkward.

"Sure can," Elliot chimed in. "To what do I owe the pleasure? Two visits in two weeks? I am honoured."

"I just came down to tell you to back off Kevin. He's a good guy, I can see whoever I want." And to see your sexy partner again she didn't add.

Olivia's ears pricked up at the mention of a guy's name, jealousy tore through her.

"Kevin?" she enquired. She was sure Kathleen was gay. _Maybe he's just a friend that Elliot doesn't approve of. God Olivia who are you kidding!_

"Yeah, Kevin. Kathleen's latest boyfriend." Elliot informed Olivia. Kathleen spotted the crushed look in Olivia's eyes before the detective promptly guarded them again.

"He's not my boyfriend," she corrected her father, for Olivia's sake as well as her own, "we're just hanging out."

Olivia perked up at this; Kathleen noticed and felt oddly pleased but wanted to see if she could make the beautiful detective jealous.

"We really like each other and I want to see if there's anything there. It's not a crime dad. He actually likes me and wants to get to know me" she looked pointedly at Olivia. She just wanted Olivia to see that other people were interested but didn't count on the hurt look that now graced the detectives alluring features. _Ouch that hurt. Doesn't she know that I'd love to get to know her but it's just too complicated?_

"Kathleen the guy is after just one thing, all kids his age are." Elliot put it.

"Whatever Dad, I like the guy. Maybe I'm after the same thing. It's not like anybody else wants me, right Olivia?" Kathleen remarked. Instantly regretting it at Olivia's defeated and guilty look. _Okay I guess I deserved that, but surely she doesn't really think that?_

Kathleen looked guiltily at Olivia while her father rambled on about how this Kevin guy was not right for her and how he didn't like him at all. Kathleen mouthed that she was sorry. Olivia understood why Kathleen said what she did, she didn't mean to hurt the bewitching girl but Elliot was important to her. She nodded at Kathleen in acknowledgment and acceptance of her apology and Kathleen gave her a sheepish smile that Olivia couldn't help but find adorable.

"Kathleen, you are not to see that boy again." Elliot announced.

"What?" both Olivia and Kathleen asked at the same time. Kathleen angry that her father thought he could control who she dated, and Olivia shocked that Elliot would dictate who Kathleen could and could not see.

"Elliot come on it's just a boy." Olivia added.

"Yeah a boy who wants to get into my 18 year old daughters pants!" Olivia gulped; _He's not the only one. Damnit, don't go there Olivia. He'll freaking kill you._ She wisely decided to let Kathleen take the ball on this on.

"Dad, you are totally overreacting! Even mom said not to listen to you; she agrees that you're over reacting."

"No I'm not Kathleen."

"Whatever. I don't have to listen to this. I'm meeting Kevin at the mall, we're going to see a movie . . ." Kathleen stated, adding "In the back seats!" to annoy Elliot, not even thinking that her parting statement could hurt Olivia.

"Don't wait up Daddy, I won't be home tonight. See you around Olivia" Kathleen turned on her heel and stalked out of the squad room fuming.

Olivia knew that statement was meant to get a rise out of Elliot but she couldn't help but feel almost physically wounded and undeniably jealous.

"Nice one Elliot!" Olivia snapped.

"God that girl is going to kill me. And I am not in the wrong here Olivia! She just a kid," Elliot argued.

"But she isn't Elliot. She's 18. She's a woman. Start acting like it." She knew she shouldn't be angry at Elliot but it was hard not to be. Kathleen is a legal aged woman and he was making her feel even guiltier than she already was for thinking about her in less than innocent ways.

"She's going to date Elliot and you telling her she can't will make her date sleaze balls just to piss you off." _And to get at me, so it seems_, she added silently.

"I'm her father Olivia; its like innately programmed that I will feel like this. No one can touch my baby". He continued to fight his corner. But Olivia wasn't backing down, admittedly she was selfishly trying to ease her own conscience. She knows that she is not in the wrong.

"Kathleen is of legal age Elliot. She can have sex with anyone she wants." Although it pained Olivia to say these words she knew they were true, Kathleen was allowed to sleep with whoever she wanted to. She had no claim to her, no matter how much she wanted to.

"I'm going to see if she's ok" Olivia told him before she chased Kathleen out of the precinct, catching her just outside the doors.

"Kathleen wait" Olivia called out.

Kathleen stopped but she made no effort to turn around. Trying desperately to hide her falling tears.

Olivia quickly caught on and reached up to wipe Kathleen's tears away with her olive toned thumb on milky white cheeks.

"I'm sorry about everything I said in there Olivia, I just was mad at my dad." Kathleen whispers softly.

"I know. I'll talk to him. Don't cry sweetheart. Your to pretty to cry."

Kathleen looked up and smiled at the brunette.

"Thanks, you're pretty too." Kathleen winked at Olivia, her eyes gaining back their twinkle as she wiped away her last tear. "He really is just a guy I'm hanging out with. We are kind of seeing each other but only because this really beautiful woman I'm into won't give me the time of day" she flirted.

"Kathleen!"

"I know I'm sorry. But I can't help it. I like you Olivia. I came by today to see you, not my Dad. He's just an excuse."

"I really like that you wanted to see me sweetie," Olivia was flattered.

"But . . . "

"Here comes the rejection again" Kathleen sighed, sounding defeated.

"I'm sorry. I just . . . you saw how your dad reacted. Imagine how much worse it would be if we got together. I'd lose him for sure and you'd get hurt." Olivia tried to explain herself once more.

"I get it Olivia." Kathleen smiled sadly.

"No you don't. I don't think you understand how badly I want this, how badly I want you. This is incredibly difficult for me."

"I think I understand." Kathleen retorted. "If you want me half as much as I want you I understand" Kathleen revealed huskily, her seductive voice enough to make Olivia's toes curl in anticipation.

Kathleen smiled again, soulfully gazing into the depths of Olivia's eyes before she leaned up onto her tiptoes to delicately press her cherry red lips to the detective's soft olive cheeks in a sweet longing kiss, lingering a little longer than necessary before she smiled once more and turned, gracefully continuing on her way to meet her date. Olivia knew her resolve was beginning to crumble.

**A/N: Okay so in this chapter I wanted Olivia to begin to realise that her strong attraction to Kathleen is just going away. I also wanted her to feel a little jealous and show that Kathleen was more hurt by Olivia's rejection than she first let on and I wanted to give her a little hope. Hope is good, it makes us fight harder. So review please, they make me smile and smiling is always good right? Don't you want to make someone smile today =D **


	4. Chapter 4  Loss of appetite

Chapter Four – Loss of appetite

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and alerted, big smiles =D I am so grateful for the response this story has received. **

**Calzona:** Thankyou =) Means alot!

**Katie: **Expect me to be crap did you love? I love you too! I don't doubt it you let me know often enough. Yep you can refresh my memory anytime baby =P

**Quinn:** I hope so!

**abbierena: **Yep they are wicked! Sorry it made you sad=( I feel bad for them too, almost makes me feel guilty about messing with them . . . almost LOL. She is torn poor thing, I would be too I think.

**underc0vergirl: **It is different I admit but I thought that different is good and I wanted to write it where Olivia didn't know Kathleen as child so it wouldn't be weird.

**prentiss-be-mine: **LOL I loved you reviews. Made me smile. I know what you mean, Ashley Olsen is better looking. She is screwed LOL.

**shadow-emotions2: **Yeah I wanted Kathleen to seek Olivia out. I'm not sure yet, Kevin may play a bigger role, he is in this chapter but I don't know if he will be again. We'll see.

**MWlover8:** Thanks =)

**Oh and I forgot to add a disclaimer to my last chapters, it really goes without saying though, I DO NOT OWN SVU! So here is more of the story, hope you enjoy!**

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

"Thanks for coming Olivia; I would have totally picked a dress that made me look frumpy!" Casey thanked Olivia. "You're a life saver; I really want this girl to like me."

"You're welcome sweetie. But I have to go now. I am starving and I need to grab a bite before I head back to the precinct." Olivia apologised before kissing her friends cheek and parting with a wave.

"Thanks again" Casey called after her.

Olivia laughed; finding it hilarious Casey had asked her for fashion advice out of all her fancy lawyer friends. Casey had said that she could trust her to be honest and that she didn't trust half of the 'fancy lawyer friends' she had. "I mean who would go to a lawyer for honest advice? I'm a lawyer Olivia and even I wouldn't ask one." Casey had joked.

Olivia continued on her way through the busy mall passing by excited pre teens and the occasional old lady. Olivia smiled thinking how the mall was one of the only places that occupied both teenagers and the elderly.

Catching sight of the food court Olivia decided to treat herself. She had planned on grabbing a fresh salad in the cafe down the road but couldn't resist the appetising smells filling her nostrils from the many stores. Deciding on a McDonalds she approached the surprisingly small cue.

After purchasing her cheeseburger and fries from a very bored, very young looking pimply teenager she found an empty table and sat down, liking that she found a table off to the side so that she could people watch and not have anyone people watch her. This became her favourite hobby as a child, she had loved to find a place to sit down and watch the happy children of her old neighbourhood who had mommies and daddies that would take them to the park, or older brothers and sisters who would play with them. Back then was when her longing for a real family had started and that's why Elliot had grown to mean so much to her, he literally was her family.

She unwrapped her tasty meal and allowed her gaze to flitter over the crowd of people of all ages, spotting elderly couples chatting over a newspaper and their meal, a group of teenagers gossiping and showing off their latest purchase, Olivia smiled at their happy innocent faces, she loved the innocence she found in the children she was required to her through being a victim, she'd often find herself hoping that they would always be that way, innocent and untouched by the evil she battled daily. Never to know of the evils that surrounded them.

As she continued to eat and look around her she spotted a head of familiar blonde hair and gulped almost choking on her food. Kathleen. Was. Here. _Jesus I had finally managed to stop thinking about her for . . . darn has it really only been an hour and 7 minutes. I'm a looser!_

Olivia quickly realised that Kathleen wasn't alone. She was with a boy. _Kevin?_ Jealousy churned through Olivia and made her want to run over and tell him to get lost but rationality stopped her. But the realisation that Kathleen was laughing at something that boy had said left a bitter taste in her mouth. _That should be me! I should be the one to make her smile like that. _

Olivia sat there for ages just watching them, their interactions, and the way the boy would not so subtly move closer to her and touch her when he spoke. What pissed her off was that Kathleen wasn't stopping him. _Push him away Kathleen, please._ Olivia silently cried inside.

Olivia's barely touched meal had long gone cold, not that she cared, she no longer had an appetite. But she stayed just to watch them. Pondering going over but then again knowing she shouldn't. She realised this was bordering on stalker like activities, sitting there just watching the young couple. She was about to gather her rubbish and when she saw it.

The attractive young boy leant forward and placed his hand on Kathleen's shoulder before slipping it around her and encouraging her to sit on his lap. The sight hurt Olivia but she couldn't force herself to look away. Kathleen slid out of her own seat and sat on his lap, Olivia gasped telling herself to look away but she couldn't. The boy ran his hand through Kathleen's hair, the way Olivia had dreamed of doing. She gripped the table, her knuckles white.

Kathleen smiled shyly at the boy, and Olivia felt sick. Bile rose in her throat. _How could she do this? _But then she remembered that Kathleen wasn't hers and that she had no right to feel this was, but it was agony.

He leaned forward and whispered something in her ear, making her blush. Agony crushed Olivia like a boulder. Her head swam with thoughts of the many times she had made Kathleen blush at the park. She longed to know what he'd said to her.

And then the boy leaned closer, and Olivia held her breath willing Kathleen to pull away. Silently praying to a God that she didn't believe in. He leaned closer still and Olivia thought she saw Kathleen go to push him away before Kathleen seemed to realise something sadly and then she herself leaned forward as if trying to make herself forget something. Someone?

That's when it happened and Olivia thought she would die from the pain it caused her. She held her hand to her mouth as silent tears poured from her face, as she watched the girl she was falling for intimately kissing someone else.

The kiss seemed to last forever before Kathleen pushed him away and fled from the table. She had almost left the confines of the food court when her eyes connected with Olivia's. She stopped dead seeing her tearstained face and her glossy filled eyes.

Olivia saw her begin to approach; she shook the hurt from her face and angrily brushed away her tears. Ashamed to be caught crying.

She quickly got up uncharacteristically leaving her rubbish at the table and raced away from the approaching beauty.

"Olivia wait . . ." Kathleen called after her feeling incredibly guilty over what Olivia had so clearly just witnessed.

Kathleen raced to catch up wishing she could run faster. God why did she have to fall for someone who was used to chasing perps all day? She would never catch up.

Kathleen followed Olivia out to the car park and over to her unmarked car dodging shoppers the whole way. Olivia was struggling with her key as tears clouded her vision. Kathleen reached out and used her weight to make Olivia face her, but Olivia was stronger and refused to turn around. She continued facing the car trying to compose herself.

"Please look at me Olivia," Kathleen begged.

Olivia heard the pain in the young woman's voice and reluctantly turned around.

"What do you want Kathleen?" the detective spat.

Kathleen blanched. "I'm sorry you saw me making out with Kevin."

Olivia felt sick again at the words and more tears sprung to her eyes.

Kathleen instantly regretted her choice of words, "dammit I just mean, God I'm sorry Olivia but you are the one who doesn't want to try us out. You are the one who turned me away."

Olivia flinched at Kathleen's words. "I know but I didn't need to see that!"

"How was I supposed to know you'd be there?" Kathleen cried.

"I don't know . . . I'm sorry Kathleen. Really but . . . all I know is seeing you in there . . . on that guys lap . . . being all cute and blushing . . . and then when he kissed you . . . that fucking hurt."

"I'm sorry. What more do you want me to say? That I wish it was your lap I was sitting on? That I would give anything for you to be the one kissing me? Because I do but what good will that do me?" Olivia smiled through Kathleen's speech making Kathleen angrier.

"What the hell are you smiling for? I'm trying here Olivia." Kathleen snapped, making Olivia's grin grow.

"I'm sorry it's just angry you is cute, and kinda sexy"

"Not helping any!"

"I know . . . ughh . . . how the hell did we get here?"

"Well, you saw what you saw and then . . ."

Olivia started laughing, "that was rhetorical you idiot".

"Oh," Kathleen blushed. "Sorry".

"Don't be, I think it's cute." Olivia knew she was just making things worse by flirting but she couldn't help it. This girl made her do some pretty crazy things, like run out of a food court in tears.

"I really am sorry Olivia. If it's worth anything I wasn't even going to kiss him but all I could think about was how you didn't want me and how you would never kiss me like that and I pushed him away as soon as you popped into my head for the second time." Kathleen faltered before continuing, "I think about you a lot, Kissing you . . . touching you".

Olivia felt a familiar sensation in her stomach, a squirmy, half-frightening, half-pleasurable feeling. She had it bad for this girl and had to leave before she did something stupid.

"I'm sorry I have to go" she pulled open her car door and sped through the car park. Surprisingly she didn't cause an accident but had to show her badge and tell another officer that she was on the way to a pick up a suspect on the run to get away from them.

That night Olivia found herself daydreaming when she was trying to force herself to go to sleep. She imagined a different ending to what had happened that day, she imagined that it was herself leaning closer to Kathleen; she could almost feel the touch of her lips on her own.

**A/N: So Kathleen wants to kiss and touch Olivia? Olivia is pretty freaking jealous? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Review it? **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – Racing hearts

**A/N: A huge thanks to everyone who reviewed and PM'd me. You are awesome and you really do put a huge smile on my face every time you do. Big thankyou to TheTBone for your words of encouragement. Sorry that it took so long to update but things have been pretty hectic. **

**prentiss-be-mine: **I'm soo glad that you love this story =) I know that seeing Olivia cry was strange but I think that if anyone is hurt badly enough, even the strongest of people, crying sometimes is inevitable. I mean, if you feel this undeniable strong connection with someone and then see them kissing another you'd feel crushed right? I will try to make my chapters longer from now on.

**shadow-emotions2: **I'm soooo happy you felt the need to review. It made me smile =)

**Calzona: **I feel sorry for the both of them not just Olivia.

**abbierena: **Nah your right I don't LOL. Olivia needs to go through all this for her to realise that being with Kathleen is something she really wants, it will make her appreciate it more and also relationships are never plain sailing. We know that from your stories LOL I love your stories! They are awesome, check them out people!

**Katie: **I'm glad you loved it baby. Yeah, I agree jumping into a relationship can spell disaster. I love you to sweetheart 3

**Quinn: **No it's not weird; I guess I kind of feel sorry for him too. I mean Kathleen did just get up and leave him there right?

**I'llbearound: **Yeah, maybe they will kiss soon or maybe not so soon. You'll just have to keep reading to find out.

**It really goes without saying though, I DO NOT OWN SVU! So here is more of the story, hope you enjoy!**

Olivia sat at her desk silently cursing Elliot for being late, she hated being at the squad before him. Not only did she have to wait for her morning tea and pastries but she had no-one to talk to. Fin and Munch were busy with a case.

_If he isn't here in the next 10 minutes he can bet his ass I will . . . I will do something he won't want me too._ She was really getting fed up of waiting.

25 minutes later and a total of an hour and a half late Elliot strolled through the door to the precinct hot beverages and breakfast foods in hand.

"Where the hell have you been? do you know how long I've been sitting here waiting? I'm starving . . . gimme that!" She exclaimed has she retrieved her long anticipated breakfast from Elliot.

"Hey. Are you crazy? You nearly spilt my coffee" Elliot juggled his own breakfast before collapsing into his desk chair; his head slumped into his hands. It was then that Olivia realised how exhausted he looked.

"Are you ok El?" she asked concerned.

"Uh . . . oh yeah I'm fine. Just got back from the hospital, been there most of the night." He slumped further into his desk.

"You went to see a vic without me?" Shock flew over her features; Elliot never interviewed a victim alone so soon after they were attacked. As their perpetrators were usually men Olivia is usually the one in their partnership to question a victim, or is at least present.

"No. I was visiting Kathleen".

"What?" Olivia almost shouted, a sickening feeling settling in the pit of her stomach. "Is she okay? What happened? When? Is she okay?"

"I'll tell you if you let me get a word in." Elliot chucked, touched by how much Olivia seemed to care about his daughter. "She is okay. Just a little bruised. She was getting a lift from her friend back to campus last night and they got into a little accident on a side road. They want to keep her in for a day or two because she was unconscious for a bit but other than that she's fine, keeping her in is just a precaution."

This did nothing to ease Olivia's worries. She desperately wanted to see Kathleen but then thought better of it.

"Oh. Ok. Well, send her my lo... give her my best wishes when you she her" Olivia carefully hid her slip. Usually sending your love to someone in hospital was seen as normal but she just felt weird asking Elliot to send her love to Kathleen what with what was happening between them.

"I sure will. Later. I'm visiting her after lunch. Kathy would only she can't make it because of work and so she's going later with Maureen and the twins."

"Ok. Well . . . Cragen is looking for blood. We better get to interviewing Hayes before he comes out here all veins bulging". Olivia wanted to move the subject away from Kathleen. She was still worried about her but Elliot didn't seem too worried so she set it aside.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

"So let me get this straight" Olivia growled at their now cowering suspect. "You want us to believe that us finding your finger prints at the scene and your DNA in our victim a coincidence?"

"Y-Yeah?" Hayes whimpered.

"You're not serous? You left your swimmers in her. That proves you came inside her. Yet you tell us that you've never been intimate with her. That just screams rape." Olivia laughed unbelievingly at the bull this guy was trying to sell.

"Okay – Okay we fucked. But that's it she was into it."

"The bruises on her body say she wasn't." Olivia retorted disgusted.

"She liked it bitch" the now angry suspect sprung at Olivia.

Elliot saw that things were getting out of control and moved, serving as a wall between the suspect and his partner.

"Sit down" Elliot boomed.

But the suspect was relentless he reached around trying to grab hold of Olivia. He managed to grab a hold of her shirt before she tugged it, hard, out of his grasp.

"I said sit the fuck down, don't you fucking dare lay a hand on Detective Benson." Elliot shoved the guy sending him sprawling to the cold cement floor.

Cragen and Fin who had been watching with their ADA Casey Novac barged through the door; Fin handcuffed the now manic suspect and lead him out of the room.

"You can expect to be hearing from the chief when they hear about how your detective just manhandled my client Don". The slime ball of a defence attorney smirked as he followed Fin and is client out of the room.

"Detective . . . A word" Cragen ordered.

"Cap you must have seen him go for Olivia. What was I supposed to do? It's not like I hit the guy. I just shoved him a little?" he defended himself.

"A little? Elliot you damn near threw the guy clean across the room." Cragen looked to Olivia and his tone softened. He had always thought of her like a daughter and it made him proud that Elliot was protecting her. "Look come with me so that we can get to the chief before that slime ball out there and sort this out before the shit hits the fan".

Noticing how Olivia locked a little shaken up, not that she would admit it he ordered her to take the rest of the day.

"But Cap . . . I'm good. Really" she argued.

"It's an order detective!" he replied daring her to argue with him, wisely she decided not to and admitted her defeat with an accepting nod. On any other day she would have fought back and point blank refused to leave but finding out Kathleen was hurt and then being grabbed by Hayes she was not up to the fight that she would inevitably lose anyway. What Cragen says goes, most of the time anyway.

"Cap how long is this going to take?" Elliot asked.

"A couple of hours, maybe more."

"Ok give me a minute and I will be right with you Cap." Elliot really needed to see if Olivia was ok and ask her a favour.

"Sure, make it quick though Elliot we need to leave in the next 5 minutes."

Elliot turned to his partner, and gently squeezed her shoulder.

"You sure you're ok? That guy was a lunatic." Elliot asked concerned that Olivia was more shaken up than she was letting on.

"I'm fine Elliot. Seriously" and she was fine it did shake her up a bit but she'd had worse. "You better go sort this mess out. But thanks. For, you know, stepping in. But next time don't ok El. I can take care of myself. You stepping in makes me look incompetent."

"I know you can and I'm sorry but just so you know I would have done the same for Fin or Munch. It's not because you a woman Olivia. You're a great detective. Oh and seeing as I'm going to be having my ass chewed off and handed to me for the next few hours could you take a swing by mercy and check on Kathleen for me. I told her I'd visit but I can't now and Kathy . . ."

"Is at work I know. You said." Olivia interrupted more calmly than she felt. Inside she was freaking out. She had to go and see Kathleen. Now. Today. After that dream last night. _Boy, this is going to be hard. _

"Sure El" she agrees but inside she was back to silently cursing him again. _First he's late. Then this? Ughh. _But she had to admit that despite her apprehension she was secretly looking forward to seeing Kathleen again. It had been another two weeks since she saw her at the mall. _Shit, the mall. Fuck now it's going to be even more awkward. _Especially with the number of times she had dreamt of Kathleen saying those words again_. "I think about you a lot, Kissing you . . . touching you"._ Damn.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

Sitting in her car outside the hospital Olivia was engaged in a full internal battle. _Go in, or not go in, that should be the bloody question._

She would pull herself together and then a picture of Kathleen all smiley and flirty would appear in her mind and she'd have to give herself the speech all over again.

_Pull yourself together Olivia. Just go in there, see that she's ok. Tell her that her dad got his ass in trouble again so he'll see her tomorrow. Tell her to get well soon and then get your own ass out of there. Simple. You can do it. _

Getting out of the car she gazed up at the cloudless sky, maybe she could do this. Yeah, she'll be ok. She continues on her pep speech into the hospital stopping to pick up a small pink teddy.

"Room of Kathleen Stabler please." Olivia asked the nurse who was leaning over the computer in front of her.

"Oh hello detective. Official business?" The nurse familiar with Olivia asked.

"Not today Aimee. Just visiting a . . . friend." Olivia told her.

"Okay deary, 242, next floor up. Have a nice day" she smiled warmly.

"You too Aimee. I'll see you soon no doubt." Unnerved by how true that statement really was, she saw Aimee at least once a week for work purposes. Turning the corner Olivia approached the stairs, thinking it would give her more time before seeing Kathleen.

238 . . . 240 . . . ah 242. Olivia peered into the window of Kathleen's room; she appeared to be sleeping facing away from the window. _Deep breaths Olivia! Gosh my heart is beating so fast. _

Opening the door she tiptoed into the room. Not wanting to wake the blonde just yet. Truth be told Olivia was now hoping to just watch her sleep for a bit._ Gosh, stalker much? Now I even sound like her. _

"Your late Dad." A soft sleepy voice could be heard before the blonde gently rolled over.

Kathleen looked up and saw that the beautiful figure before her wasn't her father. For a moment nothing was said as their eyes just connected and they stared longingly at one another. Olivia could feel the heat between them rising and so she was the first to break the silence in an attempt to stop them falling into dangerous territory.

"Hi" She all but whispered, shocked that that was her voice.

"Hey" Kathleen whispered back. "What are you doing here? Not that I mind" she smiled up at the brunette.

"Your Dad let his temper get the better of him and pushed a perp who tried to hit me. So he's with Cragen and asked me to fill in, I'm sorry."

"Someone tried to hit you? Are you ok?" Kathleen worried. Repeating Olivia's earlier concerns when she found out Kathleen was hurt.

"I'm fine Kathleen. And just so you know your Dad is to." Olivia laughed; Kathleen seemed more worried about her than her father. She was pretty flattered at the realisation.

"Oh right." Kathleen giggled, embarrassed.

"So are you ok? I mean your Dad said you were in a car accident." Olivia tried to make conversation but also wanted to know if she really was ok.

"Yeah, just the few bruises you can see on my arms and a few on my legs and ribs, and this beauty on my forehead but nothing serious. They are only keeping me in so that they can wake me up every hour to make sure I haven't died from a concussion or something." Olivia laughed at Kathleen's blasé explanation.

"I'm sure they know what's best." Olivia walked closer to the bed and leant her hip against it, staying towards the end so as not to be too close to the breath taking blonde.

"Yeah, doesn't mean I have to like it. I freaking hate hospitals." Kathleen grumbled.

"Yeah me too." Olivia agreed grimacing.

Kathleen's face fell."Oh you can go if you want, you don't have to stay."

Olivia was confused at first and then realised that Kathleen thought she was hinting at wanting to leave.

"No it's ok. I want to keep you company for a bit, I know how boring it can be just waiting for your next visitor." Olivia tried to reassure her that she wasn't going to just run out on her again. Yet.

"Ok" Kathleen smiled again. Dimples on show. Olivia couldn't help but smile back.

"I got you this." Olivia handed Kathleen the teddy bear.

If it was possible Kathleen's smile grew.

"Thankyou". The sincerity in Kathleen's voice made Olivia's breath catch.

"You're welcome sweetie." Olivia blanched at the pet name she just used.

Kathleen heard it too and her heart skipped a beat. Her heart monitor that was still hooked up registered it; she prayed that Olivia didn't notice. And thankfully she didn't.

Kathleen tried to push herself into sitting position. Olivia watched her groan in protest and leapt forward to help her.

Olivia's hands on Kathleen's bare skin made Kathleen's heart race. She looked up at Olivia who still had her hands on her but was now looking at the heart monitor.

Olivia looked at Kathleen worried at first that something was wrong but saw the bright blush painting her cheeks with arousal and looked back at the heart monitor knowing that it was her touch that caused this reaction in that beautiful blonde.

Olivia could help the smug smirk that grew on her face. She looked back at Kathleen's adorably blushing face before removing her hands. She watched as Kathleen's heart rate slowly slowed down again before she slowly began to reach out again and in anticipation of Olivia's touch Kathleen's heart began to beat faster. Until the machine was beeping louder and faster again like before as Olivia touched her skin.

A nurse came rushing in after the change in heart rate was recorded, looked at the pair who were so wrapped up in staring at each other they didn't notice her presence, smiled knowingly and then slowly inched out of the room.

"Wow" Olivia breathed.

"Yeah." Kathleen blushed embarrassed but amused by the way Olivia had taken her hands of her then put them back on again to gage her reaction.

"You make me nervous" Kathleen confided. "My heart beats faster whenever I see you but that was crazy." She blushed more profusely. "I can't believe you just heard that.

Olivia didn't know what to say. Someone else's reaction just to her simple touch had never made her feel like this before. She felt all girly and giggly but also very, very turned on. Knowing that her simple touch made the blonde heart beat faster sent pools of wetness between her legs.

"There's a tension between us Olivia, which I have to admit, is mostly sexual but I feel way more than just that for you". Olivia began to shake her head, "And don't deny it. I may not be a detective Olivia but I know when my feelings are reciprocated."

"I uh . . . I mean . . . wow" Olivia stuttered. She couldn't believe Kathleen just called her on her feelings. She wanted to just admit it and kiss her already, just one little kiss, but she knew that it would make things 10 times harder to walk away from her.

"Yeah you said that." Kathleen giggled again.

"You make me nervous too Kathleen" Olivia husked as she sat down next to Kathleen's legs facing her on the hospital bed. "That's what scares me, what happened to you just now happens to me when I even just think about you."

"You think about me?" Kathleen's face lights up at this new revelation. Olivia berates herself again for making things worse for Kathleen but she just cannot seem to lie to her and when she's with her she just says what she thinks. Which she never does, ever, especially not in her line of work.

"Yeah, more than I should" she admitted with a shy smile. Again, she didn't do shy. But Kathleen was just different.

"I haven't stopped thinking about you Olivia" Kathleen leaned forward slightly, easing closer to the female detective.

"We need to try harder to stop thinking about each other sweetie" Olivia regrettably forced herself to say, her tone somewhat distraught.

"I can't. I tried Olivia. I really did but you're all I think about." Kathleen cried desperately as her blue eyes filled with tears. Olivia was almost drowned in the guilt that washed over her.

"I'm sorry but we need to try a little harder Kathleen. I know how hard it is believe me." Olivia said seriously. She thinks back on her dream of Kathleen last night before banishing the image from her head. "But we have to; we can be friends Kathleen but nothing more."

"Friends?" Kathleen looked up at her through tear filled eyes.

"Yeah friends. That's all I can be to you right now."

Although Olivia didn't know it the right now at the end of her sentence gave Kathleen hope that maybe if they became friends and spent more time together Olivia would realise that these feelings wouldn't just go away because she wants them to.

"Ok, friends. I think I can do that." Kathleen perked up a little.

"Good, I'm glad." Olivia smiled down, wishing she could forget about everything, take the risk and become more than friends with the angel in front of her.

Olivia wanted so desperately to slide her arms around Kathleen and press a kiss to her temple, and be pulled into her lap but it was a longing that she had to deny. She couldn't afford to risk her friendship with Elliot.

Olivia held out her hand for Kathleen to shake. "Friends" she repeated.

"Friends" Kathleen echoed. When their hands came into contact the monitor beeped faster and louder once again.

Whilst she held the smaller, paler hand in her own Olivia couldn't help but picture them together, she pictured her naked. She shut her eyes, felling hot. Uncomfortable. This wouldn't work. Couldn't work.

**A/N: So this chapter was much longer than any of the others. I really hope you like it. Next time Olivia and Casey have a little chat about a certain someone =P **


	6. Chapter 6 You sly dog!

Chapter 6 – You sly dog!

**A/N: For this chapter you need to know that Casey doesn't know who Kathleen is (she knows Elliot has children but that's about it), they've never met. Casey isn't especially close to the team apart from Olivia, they are best friends. **

**Quinn:** Yeah she did, bless him. Yeah the heart monitor thing happened to me so I thought I'd include it somewhere. Thanks=) **abbierena:** Nah you might be right there, I wonder how long they can keep it going for, don't you just love sexual tension though? =P **Wiggles: **Yeah it shows she cares. Haha that would be funny and hot! **Kryss: **OMG your comment made me laugh so hard! I love Cragen to! **I'llbearound: **Yeah he's nice like that, maybe they will soon. **Lamia of the Dark:** Yeah I guess some of it is out of character LOL but yeah I think the concept is interesting, I like odd couples that people don't expect. =)

**It really goes without saying though, I DO NOT OWN SVU! So here is more of the story, hope you enjoy!**

Olivia was so intent on finishing up her DD5 that she didn't even notice the tell tale clacking of heels announcing the arrival of her best girl friend Casey Novac.

"They for me?" Casey asked leaning over Olivia trying to read the documents over her shoulder, one of Olivia's pet peeves.

"Yeah . . . Done!" Olivia finally released the pen from her cramping hand. "And would you stop reading over me like that, you know how much I hate it."

"I know, why do you think I love doing it so much." Casey teased. Her favourite hobby was winding Olivia up.

"You are sooo funny" sarcasm coating Olivia's teasing words.

"You love it." Casey pushed some of the stuff on Olivia's desk over to Elliot's more cluttered one so that she could sit on it.

"Hey! It's you that keeps doing that?" Elliot grumbled piling Olivia's things on one edge of his desk. He had been finding Olivia's things pushed onto his desk more often lately. He had thought Olivia was doing it to get back at him for making her drink Munches sludge like toxic coffee.

"Yeah." Casey smiled at Elliot liked butter wouldn't melt. "You don't mind right?"

"Yeah I already have enough to do I don't need a messy desk too." Elliot joked good naturedly, he hadn't know Casey very long but was beginning to warm to her, usually Olivia and Casey hung out outside of work or at the DA's office on breaks but lately Casey had been at the precinct a lot more often. "There are chairs you know."

"That would mean having to drag one over her, no fun in theses heals and a skirt this tight."

During the banter between her best friends Olivia's mind had drifted, again. Over the past few days, since Kathleen had been released from the hospital they had done friend like things together, they had gone for a walk, coffee twice and even hung out with the rest of the Stabler's in their back yard.

Olivia thought she was doing very well in not acting on her strong feelings for the young blonde. That was until she found herself at times like these daydreaming of her blonde 'friend' with a dopey smile on her face, unable to pay much attention to much else. Only when she was working was she able to push the blonde from her mind.

"I'll see you later Casey. I just have something to go over with Munch and Fin before they chase down some leads." Elliot informed the redhead before leaving her perched on Olivia's desk.

"Olivia" she tried to get the brunettes attention by waving her professionally manicured hand in front for the detectives smiling face.

"Olivia"

"Liv?"

"BENSON!" she resorted to shouting.

"Huh? What? What the hell are you shouting for?" Olivia jumped.

"Okay, what's with the smile?" Casey smiled at her friend.

"What smile?" Olivia cursed herself. "There was no smile."

"There's a girl!" Casey concluded.

"Wh-what? No there isn't. There's no girl. When would I meet a girl? There's no girl Casey." Olivia rambled trying to hide her smile as she thought about Kathleen again.

"Really Liv? I think one doth protest too much! There's that smile again. There so is a girl" Casey smiled knowingly at her friend. She loved that her friend had found someone. The strong detective hadn't dated in years, not since Alex. "So who is she?"

"Look Casey! There's no . . ." Casey's unbelieving look and raised brow made Olivia break; somehow she just couldn't lie to Casey. "Fine, there's a girl but nothing can happen."

"What? Why not?" Casey frowned.

"They just can't, we both agreed. She's very young and there are so many other factors that are working against us." Olivia sighed sadly.

"How young is very young?"

"She's . . . erm" Olivia blushed. "She's 18." she whispered.

"18! You devil you!" Casey chuckled at the look on her friends face. "She's legal Olivia, what's the problem?"

"Like I said there are so many other things to consider." Olivia tried to justify her reasons for not pursuing anything but trying not to give anything away.

"How long have you known her?"

"We meet about a month or so ago at the park."

"You fucked her yet?" Casey asked bluntly.

Olivia blushed profusely and pulled Casey over to an empty corner of the room.

"No, but I've thought about it, had vivid dreams about it. Casey I haven't even kissed her. And I'm not going to!" Olivia was beginning to be glad that she had told Casey about this, maybe talking about it will help.

"Wow you have some restraint." Casey smirked; she knew she couldn't do that.

"Listen Casey, I really like this girl but nothing can happen okay. There's just too much at risk."

"Okay now I'm intrigued." Casey raised her eyebrows.

"I'm not going into all that. All you need to know is that what I feel for her is way more than sexual. Like way more, I really really like her. Which is why we are trying to be friends, I at least want her in my life." Olivia spoke so sincerely that Casey could help but step forward and hug her best friend.

"Awww babe. I'm sorry." Casey comforted her. "So tell me about her. What is she like?"

"Well, gosh where do I start? She's amazing. The few times we've spent time together have been great, I mean, we can just talk for hours, but there's this like, heat between us that is just . . . hot. And her smile, god it takes my breath away. She has this blonde hair that just glows when the sun hits it just so, and her voice is just sooo, I could listen to her talk all day. And she's really really sweet, and extremely flirty. Casey I can't stop thinking about her but I can't stay away from her either. She's . . . she's just perfect" Olivia gushed glad to finally get it all of her chest.

Casey couldn't believe how her best friend was acting.

"You sound like a teenage girl with a crush." Casey laughed.

"It's not funny Casey, what am I supposed to do?" Olivia cried desperate for her friend to provide her for a way to solve all this.

"I'm not sure, just keep being friends, maybe things will work themselves out with . . . "

"Kathleen, her names Kathleen." Olivia whispered softly, the blonde once again taking residence in her mind.

"Liv, Case" Elliot called the pair over to their desks.

"Here case we need a warrant. Munch and Fin are talking to Cargen." Elliot explained, discussing with Casey the grounds for the warrant.

"Thanks. Casey." Elliot smiled.

"I'll take this over to Donnelly; she will definitely sign off on this. But she won't be available for another hour, how long can you hold him?" Casey asked.

"That's fine; we can keep him here another . . . 6 and a half hours."

"Great."

"I'll be right back; I'll just let the guy's know."

"Olivia." A soft voice called from behind her. She turned around cautiously already knowing who the velvety voice belonged to.

"Kathleen . . ." Olivia trailed off. She was once again mesmerised by the beautiful young woman in front of her.

Casey looked over at Olivia and smirked. The young woman defiantly was something. Olivia defiantly had taste she'd give her that.

"Hi, You must be the Kathleen Olivia has been raving about. I'm Casey, her best friend." Casey held out her hand to Kathleen.

Kathleen reluctantly dragged her gaze from Olivia, and smile had the redhead.

"Hi Casey" the blonde smiled sweetly. "She raves about me?" she enquired desperate to know if Olivia talked about her in any capacity.

"Yeah, she was just talking about you actually, she said . . . "

"Nothing, I said nothing" Olivia interrupted. "What are you doing here? I thought you had class today."

"I do, but I wanted to stop by and see you." Kathleen smiled longingly at Olivia. A silence fell over the three women as the young blonde and the brunette detective had a silent conversation with their eyes. Casey found it all terribly amusing, friends my ass she thought.

The silence was broken when Elliot rejoined the group.

"Hey kiddo." He said to Kathleen thoroughly confusing Casey.

"Hey Dad." Kathleen turned to her father.

DAD? Casey's jaw dropped. Dad? She mouthed to Olivia in shock. Olivia blushed deeper than Casey had even seen the olive toned woman blush. Olivia nodded at her friend. Casey finally realised all the complications Olivia was speaking of earlier. All she could think about was how Olivia had gotten herself into a hell of a situation; she was just glad it wasn't her.

"Liv I'm just going to steal my daughter for a second. We'll be right back." Kathleen didn't take her blue eyes off of Olivia as Elliot lead her out of the room.

"Olivia you sly dog!" Casey chuckled as she nudged Olivia with her hip.

"Shut up!" the detective hissed. "I already feel like a prize ass."

"Come on Olivia it's not that bad. So she's his kid. What's the big deal?" She knew what the big deal was but she also knew that it didn't have to be that way.

"You are joking right? She is my c_atholic_ best friend and partners teenage daughter!" Olivia stared Casey in the eye. "He would never forgive me! He doesn't even know I'm gay. Or her for that matter. I mean she's gay but she dates boy's to keep her dad off her back."

"Olivia I get that and it's not the best of circumstance and believe me I'd rather you than me but come on he'd get over it. In a few years" she added trying to ease the growing tension; she knew Olivia was beating herself up for this. Big time!

"Look we are friends, that's how it's going to stay!" Olivia seethed before walking away and heading for the cribs.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoX**

"Hey, Casey right?" Kathleen asked as she approached the redheaded woman from earlier, "do you know where Olivia went?"

"Uh yeah. Can I talk to you a second? Please." Casey asked the blonde.

"Sure. Is this about my intentions for Olivia? You're her best friend apart from my dad right?" Kathleen smiled showing she was ok if that's what this was about.

"Yeah I am, but no that's not exactly what I wanted to say but yeah you break her heart I'll break your face got it?" Casey stared her down.

Kathleen gulped, "Yeah."

"Okay" Casey smiled reassuringly putting the 18 year old at ease again.

"I just wanted to say that you're going to have to stick around, prove to Olivia that you're worth the risk. She already thinks the world of you, just wait it out, she'll come around. That is I'm assuming you're as into her as she is with you?" Casey like this girl already she didn't back down from her and she knows she can be scary when she wants to be.

"Yeah I really like her; it's more than just a physical attraction. I like her." Kathleen tried to put it into words even though she knew it wasn't her strong point. It was one of the qualities about her that Olivia found adorable.

"I'm glad to hear that. She went up to the cribs, go on up. But Kathleen, just give her some time, be her friend until she's ready. She will come around . . . eventually." Casey smiled reassuringly squeezing her arm before saying goodbye to the squad as she set on to hunt down Donnelly.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

Olivia was sitting on the edge of the crib at the farthest end of the room. She was beginning to feel like maybe she should just see where this leads. It was getting harder and harder to deny her continuously growing feelings for Kathleen. The more she got to know the blonde the more she found herself falling for her, hard.

She looked up when she hear the crib door creak slowly open and Kathleen's flowing blonde hair was visible peaking around the corner before she walked into the room. Kathleen spotted Olivia as she stood up from the crib she was just occupying.

"Hey Kathleen," Olivia whispered.

"Hey." Kathleen stood where she was unsure whether to move closer or not.

"Come here." Olivia held her hand out.

Kathleen walked towards Olivia slowly, heart beating faster than ever.

Olivia squeezed Kathleen's fingers lovingly before letting them go, sparks flying at the contact.

"When are you seeing Kevin again?" Olivia asked even though she wasn't sure she even wanted to know.

Kathleen felt so guilty but her best friend had told her that if Olivia gets jealous then she might just throw caution to the wind and take a chance on her. She felt guilty using Kevin like that but she also knew he liked someone else so it did ease her guilt, just a tiny bit. Who was she kidding? She felt awful but she'd try anything to be with Olivia.

"I'm not sure. Soon, maybe. I apologised for running out on him and he said it was ok."

Olivia's heart felt heavy, she just wanted to scream and tell Kathleen that it should be her taking her out but she just couldn't seem to make the words form.

"That's nice." She forced a smile. "He taking you anywhere nice?"

"Just a restaurant somewhere." Kathleen replied feeling worse by the second. She hated seeing the hurt swim in Olivia's eyes.

Olivia looked down and her wringing hands hurt radiating through every pore in her body.

"Olivia" Kathleen apologised.

"Please Olivia" she urged Olivia to look at her.

Olivia slowly lifted her head, again faking a smile to appease the blonde woman.

As though she was unaware of what she was doing Kathleen reached out and gently touched her delicate, manicured fingers to Olivia's rapidly blushing face and stared deeply into her hazel eyes, shining with unshed tears. Olivia forced herself to remain stiff, she was determined, she refused to feel anything.

**A/N: So there you have it, another person knows how the duo feel. Next we see very jealous Olivia. **


	7. Chapter 7: Beeswax and Bananas

Chapter 7 – Beeswax and Banana

**A/N: Okay so I've had an idea for a new story too. It will be a SVU and Grey's Anatomy crossover. I have just jotted down a few ideas. I hope to get it up soon. **

**Katie: **Awwww bless you sweetie. Yeah I know you do LOL. Yeah I will hopefully get chapter 1 up in the next few days, maybe tonight if you're really really lucky. I'm glad you think I'm doing a good job. Love you baby. **abbierena: **Olivia is really struggling eh? She has a huge battle going on inside of her. I feel bad for Kathleen too but I would probably react like Olivia is, how about you? **Lamia of the Dark: **Yeah I guess it is a little OCC, I hope you will like how things progress. **shadow-emotions2: **You're comment was AWESOME, I wasn't going to update today but I made sure to finish this chapter for you =) Can I ask what you did in this situation? Or is that to nosey? Thank you for the virtual cookies =) **Quinn: **I know bless her! Thanks for your continuous reviews =) **Calzona:** Maybe she will soon. **prentiss-be-mine: **Yeah, I thought Olivia needed a female friend or a friend in general that she can confide in, I mean she can't exactly confide in Elliot. I thought Hazel was a shade of brown LOL is it not?

**It really goes without saying though, I DO NOT OWN SVU! So here is more of the story, hope you enjoy!**

Olivia woke up to her alarm clock screeching, calling her from her dream. She was not happy about that fact. Lately her dreams had gone from heavy make out sessions with Kathleen to her kissing her way down the blonde's tight body, but her alarm always seemed to sound just as she was about to lower Kathleen panties. Something that left her very frustrated and caused her to be extremely on edge all day. Elliot bore the brunt of her frustration but it's ok, he gives as good as he gets.

Over the past two weeks Olivia and Kathleen had spent more and more time together, on both of her days off Olivia had chosen to bypass her usual day off routine of catching up on sleep in favour of spending time with the trainee teacher. This friend's thing seemed to be working (in the sense that she had controlled herself), she enjoyed spending time with Kathleen and found herself watching the clock so that she could meet up with her, willing the hands of the squads clock to move faster, she was tempted to get up and move the herself a few times.

On the other hand, it was also getting harder to control herself around the blonde. She had to actively remind herself not to reach out and run her fingers through Kathleen's hair or lean closer to nuzzle her slender neck.

They had talked about Kevin a few times and Olivia falsely smiled and said that Kathleen was allowed to date whoever she wanted and that she was ok with it.

Unbeknownst to her Kathleen was beginning to give up on ever being more than friends, every time Olivia had scooted a little further away from her or tensed at accidental contact made her eyes burn and her heart ache. After a talk with Kevin they had both agreed that pining over others was hurting them so they decided to try casual dating, just for companionship, it helped to know that someone wanted to spend time with her romantically so she agreed, but they were both aware that if the person of their dreams decided they were worth it there would be no hard feelings. It was just nice to have someone, anyone.

Olivia sat up on her bed and stretched the sleep from her tired muscles. She was furious with herself for leaving shopping for Casey's birthday to the last minute. She always did this and never learned.

Dragging herself to her on suite she blindly fumbled for a towel before leaning past frosted glass to turn on her shower. Deciding that after her dream she would need a relatively cold one she adjusted the temperature accordingly before lifting off her sleep shirt and slinking off her short shorts and panties. She put her dirty cloths and slightly damp underwear into the hamper before stepping into the shower, hissing as the streams of cool water assaulted her hot skin.

She quickly lathered up and washed herself down before dressing and making her way out of her apartment building, grabbing a slice of toast and a flask of coffee on her way out. Even though technically she was working she didn't have a case currently but she was still on course, on these days she would usually be at the station but for the first time in like, ever, she found that she was up to date on all her paperwork. Willing time to go faster to see Kathleen she found that digging in to paperwork helped a lot to get the tome to go faster.

Turning off her street she began to think about what she could possibly buy the ADA. She decided she would just take a look around and see what jumps out at her. She hated going shopping with something in mind because she always ended up disappointed when ultimately what she had in mind she could never find.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

Trawling through the shops Olivia was beginning to lose hope, she was never going to find something for Casey that she wouldn't already have nor have a need for. She knew that Casey would appreciate anything but she wanted to get something nice for her friend.

A sweet smelling shop caught her attention. _What girl doesn't like bath stuff? _Strolling into the shop she was bombarded with sweet smells from every direction.

"Do you need any help miss?" asked a smiling sales assistant.

"Um, yeah. Please? I'm looking for a gift for a friend of mine, it's her 25th and I have no clue of what to get her. Everyone likes smelly stuff right?"

"Sure they do!" the over enthusiastic woman said. "Here follow me chicken."

Olivia stifled a giggle and followed the eccentrically dressed woman. Olivia liked people like this who weren't afraid to be themselves and were friendly to you with no expectations.

"Here, these have proved popular. They are self pamper kits, theses particular ones include the full facial kit, the hand cream, the lip balm, the lip tin ointment, the full hands and feet kit, the sugar scrub, the therapy oils, the body butter, the nourishing bath and shower set, the therapeutic bath crystals, the full body lotions, the face masks, the shampoos and conditioners, and the slipper and robe set."

"Okay wow, that's allot. The price doesn't seem too bad." Olivia was impressed and was thinking about getting herself one too.

"Oh chicken they're a bargain! And they come in a range of flavours too!" she gushed. She obviously loved her job. It was refreshing to the usual bored assistants she'd come across in the other shops shed trawled through.

"Yeah? What kinds?" Olivia was so glad to finally find something; she was hungry and needed more caffeine.

"Well chicken, there's my personal favourite, the beeswax and banana." Olivia smiled at this, she liked this woman. "There's also pomegranate, Cranberry and Pomegranate, Honey and Shea, Orange and Lemon essence, Mango, Milk and Honey, Peach and Willow bark, Chamomile, Chocolate, Carrot, Cookie, Summer Berries and finally Vanilla."

"Wow, Okay um that's some choice you've given me. I think I might have to get a set for myself too." Olivia debated what favours to get.

"Okay Chicken, I'll give you 5 minutes. You have a sniff and decide what you would like." Olivia couldn't help but smile widely at the woman's words.

"Okay, thank you."

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

"Okay so I think I'm ready." Olivia told the sales assistant.

"So what's your flavours?"

"Well I think I'll go for the Orange and Lemon essence for Casey and I'll take a Honey and Shea one for myself." The woman smiled and climbed the unsteady looking ladder to reach Olivia's choices.

"Here you go chicken. Anything else?" she handed Olivia her large boxes.

"Um I did spot something else that I liked when you were busy. Those teddies. It says their microwavable."

"Yeah they are they have these beads in them that heat up and they give of the scent they come in as well once their heated. They are lovely to snuggle with let me tell you."

"I'll get two of those too please. I'll take a Lavender one for Casey and I'll have a vanilla one please, I smelt that one and . . . It's nice." Olivia thought about how when she smelted it, it reminded her of Kathleen, the vanilla essence Kathleen gave off was identical to the cream coloured teddy bear. She imagined that she'd enjoy cuddling with it once it was heated on a cold lonely night at home, alone.

"Okie dokie. Here you go. Follow me and I'll gift wrap the ones for your friend for you. Oh and the teddies come with incense and candles too." Olivia was looking forward to having her apartment smelling like a special someone.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

After picking up a bottle of champagne from the shop next door Olivia decided that if she didn't have some coffee she wouldn't make it through the rest of the day so she headed to a nearby star bucks.

Walking to her destination of caffeine Olivia gazed in through the shop windows on her way. As she was a people watcher she loved doing this but it also gave her a chance to window shop.

Stopping just shy of the window of stark bucks Olivia spotted the hair of a familiar person who seemed to be always occupying her mind.

Stepping closer to the window of star bucks she realised that it was indeed Kathleen and she was with no other than Kevin._ Kevin! _She growled internally. She felt the green eyed monster take over; she couldn't seem to make her feet move her away from the scene in front of her. Couldn't stop her eyes from looking into the star bucks' window at her 'friend' kissing her date. _Can you say déjà vu?_

_Why am I jealous? I have no right to be jealous._ Olivia chastised herself. _You are the one who told her to agree to another date with Kevin. She practically begged you to just make her yours but you didn't!_

Olivia felt herself move closer still, large shopping bags in hand.

_She shouldn't be kissing him! In such a public place! Anyone could see her, I can see her. Ughh that should be me!_

Kathleen looked up from where she sat and spotted a red faced angry looking Olivia watching her. She pushed Kevin away. She could see the hurt and pain hidden beneath the more obvious anger and jealousy written over Olivia's face and in her glassy eyes.

"Kevin, would you excuse me for a second please? That's Olivia." She nodded her head towards the brunette outside.

"She looks pissed." Kevin stated the obvious. Kathleen rolled her eyes.

Even though she knew Olivia was hurt she was hurt too. It was Olivia who made the decision that they couldn't be together, that they had to be friends. She had no right to be angry or hurt. She was enjoying herself with Kevin, he treated her well and he was a good kisser. It made her mad that even though Olivia didn't want her she didn't want anyone else to have her either. Without thinking it through Kathleen leaned forward and not so chastely kissed Kevin's lips telling him she'd be right back.

She regretted it the moment she saw how that action made Olivia change from looking angry to completely broken.

"Shit." She cursed.

"Yeah, maybe you shouldn't have done that." Kevin was shocked that Kathleen had kissed him knowing Olivia was watching. This was so out of character, he knew that it was coming from a place of hurt. He knew more than anyone that Kathleen was hurting over this thing with Olivia and she didn't know how to deal with it.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

"Olivia" Kathleen deadpanned in greeting.

"What the hell was that?" Olivia was back to being angry and jealous again, it was easier for her to deal with than the crushing hurt she was also feeling.

"I'm on a date. The date you told me to accept." Kathleen was getting upset, angry that Olivia was acting like she had done something wrong.

"I didn't mean for you to be practically having sex with the guy in a coffee shop Kathleen!"

"And I wasn't! I was kissing a guy who likes me! Who isn't afraid of what someone else might think. Who actually wants to kiss me and tou. . . "Kathleen trailed off she knew she shouldn't finish that sentence. She was mad at Olivia but she didn't want to hurt her anymore than she had.

"Are you sleeping with him?" Olivia wasn't sure she wanted to know but she felt like she had to know."

Kathleen didn't reply.

"Kathleen? Are you fucking him?" Olivia's anger was rising but so was her hurt.

"No." Kathleen said truthfully. "Not yet. I'm not going to stop myself from being with someone else just because you're not comfortable with it. If you want be I'm yours but you don't. And as my friend you don't have a say in who I as you so eloquently put it 'fuck'."

"Oh Kathleen I can't take anymore of this. I can't!" Olivia cried.

"And you think I can?" Kathleen let her tears fall. "I want you Olivia. I've made that clear! You are the one who wants to be friends and I'm trying here. You keep asking me to meet up and hang out, and I really enjoy hanging out but then you go all jealous girlfriend on me when I'm on a date. If I can't be with you Olivia I want to be your friend but you need to act like my friend! Just my friend!

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

Kathleen had persuaded Olivia to have coffee with her to see if they could salvage their friendship. Kevin had kissed Kathleen's cheek as he left the pair alone making Olivia's stomach churn and a scowl form on her face.

"See that's what I mean!" Kathleen exclaimed once Kevin had left. "My date kissed my cheek Olivia and your acting like he kissed your girlfriend."

"I know, I'm sorry. But I can't help that can I. How would you like it if I kissed someone in front of you?" Olivia tried to get her point across.

"I'd be heartbroken Olivia. But the difference between that and this is that I want to be with you and that isn't a secret. You have the power to make more yours and yet _you_ made the decision not to, not me. I would be justified in being upset because I would be seeing someone I want to date, would give anything to date, kissing someone else. But you? You are seeing someone you have the chance to date kissing someone else but you still won't take the chance on me." Kathleen made her speech looking Olivia dead in the eye.

Olivia couldn't believe how right Kathleen was, she needed to make a decision and stick with it. She needed to choose what she wanted, needed.

"You're right. Your right! I'm so sorry Kathleen. You're right. I haven't been fair to you but that stops right now. I want to be your friend and this time I won't act like- like I just did okay? I'll be just your friend. I don't want to lose you at all Kathleen I will try again to be your friend if it means I have your in my life and get to spend time with you like we have recently." Olivia wanted to say no, I want to be your girlfriend, your lover, but she refrained.

"You promise? You will be just my friend. I can't deal with you acting like that again. I want you in my life too Olivia, more than anything but that was too hard! It felt like I had to defend myself when I didn't do anything wrong."

"I will try. I have to go but I'm off on Friday. We can hang out? As friends. Just friends. If you want?" Olivia offered, she really did enjoy spending time with Kathleen and she didn't want that to stop, when it was just them it was ok, it was when she saw Kathleen with Kevin that the big problems started.

"Sure. Pick me up at 10, from the dorms?" Kathleen had mixed feelings about this, she wanted to spend time with Olivia but she knew that one or both of them could end up being hurt by this.

"10. it's a date." Olivia said. "I mean it's not a date, I uh, shit! I'll pick you up at 10. See you soon."

**A/N: Okay so the girls are going to try harder at being friends. Will it work? Next up we have their 'non-date'. I wonder what will happen. I know everyone says this but reviews really do make you review faster. So you know, review =P **


	8. Chapter 8: Just so you know

Chapter 8 – Just so you know

**A/N: My new story is now up! Check it out =) My muse is just running away with me lately. Allot of people seemed to really like Kathleen's speeches from last chapter, I'm so glad =) I was worried people would think she was mean. **

**Katie: **I know you kept telling me how Kathleen was right LOL. I love cuddle time =) **Quinn: **Yeah you did get what I was saying; Kathleen and Kevin are both in love with others but can't be with them so are together so that they aren't alone. **abbierena: **I would be afraid of getting hurt so I think that's why I would be cautious. There's a story behind why she kept calling Olivia chicken, but long story short I was out shopping with the family and there was this really eccentrically dressed lady that kept calling me chicken so I just had to put it in. **shadow-emotions2: **wow in love with sisters, that must have been tough. It won't be ending anytime soon, I promise. I mean they haven't even shared their first kiss yet. I look forward to more of your reviews=) **underc0vergirl: **It was very soon LOL =)

**It really goes without saying, I DO NOT OWN SVU! So here is more of the story, hope you enjoy!**

_Why am I so nervous? _Olivia had just pulled up outside of Kathleen's dorm building and was patiently waiting for the blonde to join her. She had been so excited about spending the whole day with the blonde that she had a hard time falling asleep last night. In fact she had been looking forward to it all week. Everyone at the squad could tell that she was happier than usual.

She was brought from her wondering thoughts when she caught a glimpse of the object of her affections descending the stairs down to the car park she was currently waiting in. _Oh my, she looks . . . radiant, so beautiful. Those tight skinny jeans make her legs look ravishing, and oh my God she's wearing fuck me stilettos. Is she trying to kill me? She's not even wearing that much make up and she looks stunning. I love when her hair falls in natural soft curls like it is right now, framing her angelic features. I just want to grab hold of that scarf and pull her flush against me. Shit, she's going to be in this tiny space with me alone, with her sweet smelling and wonderful self. You are in so much trouble Olivia Benson._

Kathleen bent a little to smile adorably at Olivia through the window, Olivia squirmed in her seat. _Think friends, friendly thoughts, friendly thoughts. _Kathleen reached out to open the door before gracefully sliding into the passenger seat. _She even makes getting into a car look refined. _

"Hey Olivia sorry I took so long, I forgot to iron my tank last night so it was all creased when I when to put it on and then there was a strawberry jelly incident with my fitted cream blazer so I had to pick a whole new outfit." Kathleen rambled. Olivia grinned, she loved that Kathleen wanted to look nice just to spend time with her.

"It's fine. You look lovely."

"Thanks." Another alluring smile was thrown Olivia's way. "I was wondering if we could go shopping, I really wanted to pick up a few new outfits for Uni and some night clothes, my roommate says my sleepwear reminds her of what her little sister wares."

"Sure, the mall ok?" Olivia asked trying not to think of Kathleen in skimpy nightgowns and teddies.

"Yeah. Maureen say's they have some really lovely places to get 'flattering' nightclothes." Kathleen did up her belt has Olivia turned the key in the ignition before pulling out of the car park, loving how Olivia looked behind the wheel of her shiny black Mercedes.

"Do you mind if I put the radio on?" Olivia asked, she wanted to ease some of the growing tension.

"Sure. I can do it." Kathleen reached forward to ply with the radio, deciding on what to listen to. She finally settled on station that she knew played all genres of music.

After a few tracks had played, a song came on that ironically spelled out exactly how Olivia was feeling without her having to speak a word.

"Oh I love Jesse McCartney. His songs are awesome. As they song continued to play Olivia became increasingly uncomfortable. She kept sneaking glances at Kathleen wondering if she knew how much this song represented how she felt for the young blonde and described her conflicted feelings down to a T. As the lyrics flowed over Kathleen spotted Olivia start to blush and shift stealing sly glances when she thought she wasn't looking, she quickly realised that this must sum up how Olivia was feeling.

**I shouldn't love you but I want to  
>I just can't turn away<br>I shouldn't see you but I can't move  
>I can't look away<strong>

_Oh Jesus, this song just had to start playing now! The universe freaking hates me._

**I shouldn't love you but I want to  
>I just can't turn away<br>I shouldn't see you but I can't move  
>I can't look away<strong>

Kathleen saw how much the song was affecting Olivia but didn't want to change the station, listening to this song felt like having Olivia admit how she was really feeling and judging by how Olivia continued to blush and smile awkwardly she knew Olivia was thinking the same thing.

**And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not  
>'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop<strong>

_Jesus it's like this song was written for us. I really can't stop feeling this way about Kathleen no matter how hard I try and boy have I tried. _Olivia chanced a peak at Kathleen who appeared to be nervously taking in her every move as though trying to read her thoughts.

**Just so you know  
>This feeling's taking control of me<br>And I can't help it  
>I won't sit around, I can't let him win now<br>Thought you should know  
>I've tried my best to let go of you<br>But I don't want to  
>I just gotta say it all<br>Before I go  
>Just so you know<strong>

_I can't change the station because that will make Kathleen think I don't want her to know all this, the look on her face is telling me she knows this is how I feel and she wants to keep listening. _

**It's getting hard to be around you  
>There's so much I can't say<br>Do you want me to hide the feelings  
>And look the other way<strong>

_Could these lyrics be anymore true? I can't take this anymore! I have to change the station. _She reached out to change the song but before her hand reached the radio Kathleen's hand had grasped her own preventing her from pushing any buttons.

"Don't I want to listen." Kathleen confessed just loud enough to be heard over the meaningful song. She gave Olivia's hand a squeeze before returning her own hands to her lap.

**And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not  
>'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop<strong>

Kathleen looked at Olivia, feeling a little overwhelmed by the emotion she could clearly see painted across the detective's bronzed face. She wanted to scream, don't try to make your feelings stop Olivia. We both know it's not working! And then she'd remember that she had made such a big deal about Olivia acting as just her friend. She knew how impossible that was becoming so she decided that today she would just go with the flow.

**Just so you know  
>This feeling's taking control of me<br>And I can't help it  
>I won't sit around, I can't let him win now<br>Thought you should know  
>I've tried my best to let go of you<br>But I don't want to  
>I just gotta say it all<br>Before I go  
>Just so you know<strong>

_Maybe I should say something?_

**This emptiness is killing me  
>And I'm wondering why I've waited so long<br>Looking back I realize  
>It was always there just never spoken<br>I'm waiting here...been waiting here**

_Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing. I mean maybe Casey was right; Elliot would get over it, eventually. Right? _

**Just so you know  
>This feeling's taking control of me<br>And I can't help it  
>I won't sit around, I can't let him win now<br>Thought you should know  
>I've tried my best to let go of you<br>But I don't want to  
>I just gotta say it all<br>Before I go  
>Just so you know<strong>

As the song came to an end Olivia looked over at Kathleen. The blonde blushed and to the detectives pleasant surprise she continued to smile at her.

"That song . . ." Olivia started.

"I know." Kathleen interrupted. No more words were needed.

Olivia reached over and squeezed Kathleen's slim thigh before returning her hands to the wheel.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

Other than the Jesse incident in the car earlier, their friendly shopping trip was turning out to be a success. So far they had bought a few new outfits each, both advising each other on clothes they think suited each other.

"Do you mind if we buy some sleepwear now? I really need to get something that isn't something a child would ware to bed." Kathleen asked stopping in front of the shop Maureen had told her about the night before.

"Yeah that's fine." Olivia gulped; this store was famous for sexy but sophisticated night gowns and pyjamas.

"Great." Kathleen linked her arm through Olivia's and led the brunette into the shop passing quickly by the shops large array of sex toys. _Gulp._

Kathleen flicked trough rails and rails of nightgowns and pyjamas and ended up liking most of the ones that she tried on so she bought them all. Kathleen seemed reluctant to use the fitting rooms alone so Olivia waited behind the curtain complimenting Kathleen on all the ones she tried on. She had to hold back moans a few times when Kathleen had tried on some things very sexy and short. At one point she audibly gasped when Kathleen had reached up to the hooks on the wall of the room to hand to Olivia to put back on the hanger causing her shirt to raise showing off a strip of tempting soft skin, making Kathleen smirk and reach higher before realising she was playing with fire and making things harder. _Is it normal for someone's heart to beat this fast?_

Kathleen needed up buying a pale blue short strappy night gown made of a light silky material that moulded to her feminine frame, skimming her petite body perfectly showing of her small curves. Olivia had to admit it was her favourite. She'd also bought a few pyjama sets, one in pale blue that consisted of a vest top and three quarter length trousers that hugged her pert bottom, one pair of white pyjamas that were white with a small pink floral design covering them, the shirt had buttons and the shorts were just short enough that they showed a little of the blondes cheeks on show, another set was an alluring red t-shirt and long trouser pair that matched her skin tone perfectly and went beautifully with her hair. She was more than pleased with her purchases.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

A little while later a laughing Olivia and Kathleen sat down next to a woman on a bench outside of a clothing store. Sitting closer together than would normally be classed as friends and leaning in slightly when the other said something.

"You to make such a lovely couple." The woman sat next to them smiled after she had been watching the captivatingly beautiful pair for about 10 minutes. The chemistry between them was clear as day, they must have been together a long time. And the adoration in the blondes eyes every time the brunette spoke was breath taking. "She must be very special to you." She said to Kathleen.

Olivia was shocked that they had been mistaken for a couple. She froze unsure of what to say for a moment, she was about to correct the misled woman when Kathleen spoke up.

"I'm a very lucky girl." The blonde said to the woman who was now turned to face them fully. _She's going along with this? What is she doing? We're not a couple! Surely we don't give that vibe off._ She looks at Kathleen confused for a moment at the emotion she sees in the younger woman's crystal blue eyes.

Kathleen squeezes Olivia's fingers and then slowly raised them to her lips, and gave them a soft heartfelt kiss and replied to the woman "She's more than that, she's amazing. Special isn't a nice enough word to describe her," she looked into Olivia's eyes and whispered, "Really".

Olivia could hardly believe her ears, the words sounded so sincere and she said them so softly but with such firmness that either she really feels that way or she's an astonishingly good actor.

Olivia looked down at her hand that was still encased in Kathleen's before looking up again into her eyes.

"C-co-coffee?" she stuttered not knowing what else to say. Kathleen smiled before excusing them from the woman who had unknowingly just opened floods of feeling between two very confused women.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

The two had somehow ended up at a juice bar instead of the coffee place as initially intended but neither minded, caffeine and added sugar might not be a good thing right now.

They were escorted to a private booth by a young girl who took their orders and brought them out to the silent pair minutes later.

The sexual tension between the two beautiful women became almost a physical entity in itself, they reached out for a straw at the same time, accidently touching, they carefully made sure not to touch again because they both knew what was sure to happen between them if contact were ever made.

Conversation began to be forced at first talking about the juice they had, Olivia even going as far as commenting on how the colour of her straw complimented her drink before conversation once again became easy between them.

Olivia had just asked Kathleen if she wanted to eat at her apartment instead of eating out seeing as they had already spent allot today.

"Sure. Can you cook?"

"A little, not that I do often, I never have time and its not really very fun cooking for one." You don't have to cook for one anymore if you don't want to Kathleen didn't say.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

Dinner had been delightful and conversation flowed freely over a glass of wine after they had eaten.

The pair had now retired to Olivia's sofa and were sitting close but not as close as they had earlier.

Olivia smiles at her and Kathleen decides that she has to been honest now; she can't lie after everything she had said that day.

"On the drive back I wanted you to stop the car, I wanted you to face me, touch me. Inappropriate hmm?" Olivia couldn't answer, because the same arousal was burning in her right now, she wanted Kathleen so bad.

"M-Movie?"

**A/N: I was listening to that song and it seemed perfect for this. What do your guys think? Okay so they are beginning to realise that whatever is happening is really happening. Will anything happen? Next up Kathleen asks Olivia a question that could make things move faster. I know everyone says this but reviews really do make you review faster. So you know, review =P **


	9. Chapter 9: Harry Potter

Chapter 9 – Harry Potter

**A/N: So this chapter was written in between bouts of housework throughout the day, I couldn't seem to do housework without getting this down so I would right then do a bit then write some more. **

**Calzona: **I agree! It totally sounds like it was meant for them. **Katie: **Yeah she a struggling a little. Maybe they will =P I love you too. **Quinn: **I'm so glad you love it. Thank you sooooo much =) **I'llbearound: **wow you read it all again? Awesome! That's a huge compliment!

**It really goes without saying, I DO NOT OWN SVU! So here is more of the story, hope you enjoy!**

One movie turned into two and two into three. Darkness had set in somewhere during the second movie and both Olivia and Kathleen knew it had been getting late but both stubbornly ignored it. They didn't want the day to end or Kathleen to leave for her dormitories.

Olivia had drunk a few glasses of wine and knew that she shouldn't drive so her dropping Kathleen home was out of the question and she was reluctant to let Kathleen get a cab or catch the subway at this time of night. She was however unsure of how to voice this, she wanted to ask Kathleen to stay but she didn't want Kathleen to get the wrong idea about her intentions, which even though she'd love to be with Kathleen tonight in every sense of the word, were pure, she simply wanted Kathleen safe.

"Can I spend the night?" Kathleen questioned softly. She too didn't want to leave just yet, she was afraid of walking the streets alone at night.

Olivia blushed, "I uh, I don't have a spare room, you can take my bed, I'll use the couch." She was surprised that Kathleen had asked to stay although she knew she shouldn't be, she already knew Kathleen said what was on her mind. She found it endearingly cute.

"We're both adults Olivia, and I take it you have a double bed?" At Olivia's nod she continued. "We can share". Impure thoughts rushed through both women's minds. _Share a bed? Platonically? With you? In the same bed? Together? Fuck!_

"But the temptation would be great Kathleen. And we really shouldn't be tempted right now." Blushing once again Olivia tried to argue even though she wanted nothing more. The thought of lying with Kathleen flushing her with arousal.

"You underestimate me Olivia, I can control myself." Kathleen smirked at the brunette as her blush deepens.

"I'm not sure I can." Olivia whispered, raising her eyes to connect with Kathleen's blue ones that had darkened with arousal at Olivia's admission. She wanted to take the detective where they stood.

"Well, we uh, we could watch another film. And go to bed when we're so tired we couldn't . . . you know. . ." Kathleen trailed off; it was her who now felt her blush rising.

"Ok. Um I'll just go get another movie. I'll be right back. You can change in my bathroom if you like."

Olivia walked through the hall to her own bedroom trying to get a hold of her raging libido. She sorted through her vast DVD collection deciding on Harry Potter, thinking that it couldn't be considered romantic or sexual in the slightest so that there'd be no chance that watching it would cause her to act on what she was currently trying to fight.

She decided that she too would change into her own nightclothes, pulling off her clothes she redressed in her light grey tank top and her short navy cotton sleep shorts before padding back out to the living room armed with Harry Potter.

On entry she found that Kathleen had changed into her pale blue nightdress, the sexy one she had bought earlier that day. _Sweet Jesus, Is she trying to make me do something? How much control does she think I have?_

"Ok?" she asked as she leaned down to put the DVD into the player. Trying not to stare at Kathleen who looked breathtaking in her new attire.

"Yeah, what did you pick?"

"Harry Potter." Kathleen laughed, knowing that Olivia had chosen probably the least sexual film of her collection. She patted the sofa next to her, silently asking Olivia to join her as the movie started playing.

About halfway through Olivia felt Kathleen leaning more into her, yawning widely.

"You can lie down if you want." She told the woman who was beginning to feel sleepy.

Without replying Kathleen lay down in front of Olivia urging her to lay behind her for the rest of the movie.

Minutes later Olivia felt Kathleen's breathing even out, a sign that the smaller woman had succumbed to sleep. Olivia giggled at how cute the young woman looked before returning her attention to the movie.

As the credits started to roll Olivia gently nudged Kathleen urging her to wake up. Kathleen merely moaned and rolled over to face the brunette snuggling into the detective who suddenly felt as if her whole body was on fire. The blonde fit perfectly in her arms, as if they were made to fit together.

"Kathleen, sweetie you need to wake up so I can get you in to bed. I mean so that I can help you walk to my room." Olivia realised how her statement sounded before correcting herself.

Kathleen seemed to be too deep in her sleep to hear her and the brunette's further attempts to rouse her from sleep went unfounded so Olivia gave in and gently lifted the sleeping beauty into her arms. Carefully carrying her into her bedroom before somehow managing to pull back the covers and place Kathleen on her soft mattress. Not an easy feat when the woman pressed so temptingly against you breaths softly on your skin causing a ray of goose bumps to rise.

Kathleen rolled over onto her side in her sleep and her nightdress rose up to her small waist as she turned revealing her small white cotton panty covered bottom on full show to a now dry mouthed detective. _Holy shit!_

"Stop staring at my ass."

"I uh. I wasn't" the brunette lied. _Now she had to wake up? _

"I can feel your eyes burning a hole in me Olivia," the blonde mumbled sleepily. "Get into the bed, I won't do anything."

Olivia gulped, she couldn't help but be mesmerised by the sight of Kathleen in her tiny nightgown. Shorter than her by a head, and slender and graceful in her movements as she turned to face Olivia before pulling her nightdress down to cover her panties. She was the sort of woman that people looked at twice because her beauty was so pure.

Olivia climbed into her bed beside the blonde, careful not to touch her. She pulled the quilt up over them both, she held her breath as Kathleen leaned in, unsure if she was going to do what she thought she was. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Kathleen bypassed her lips and chastely pecked Olivia's cheek before returning her head to her own feather filled pillow. She smiled at Olivia before saying a soft goodnight.

"Sweet dreams Kathleen." Olivia whispered as she watched Kathleen's eyes begin to close. She couldn't remember ever feeling happier in her life. Or more turned on.

Olivia laid there for what seemed like hours before sleep claimed her as its willing victim. Only awakening when the morning light streamed through her window illuminating her features. It took a moment for her to realise that Kathleen was in the bed with her, but not only that, the younger woman was pressed up against her, limbs entangled with her own.

The warmth of Kathleen's body against her own made it hard to think. The warmth of her thigh. If she parted hers just a little bit, she could press it between her own.

Olivia moaned as Kathleen shifted in her sleeping, moving her head to rest upon Olivia's ample chest.

Olivia knew that she should move but she wanted to bask in this moment, wanted to feel the blonde's body against her own for a little longer. She pulled her against her closer.

5 minutes later Kathleen began to stir before looking up at Olivia, seemingly unaware of their current position.

"Moring," the blonde smiled. Shifting a little closer still, bringing her hand up to join her head on Olivia's chest, subconsciously stroking her thumb along bare olive skin just above the valley of the brown eyed woman's breasts.

"Dear God please don't do that!" Olivia groaned lowly. Kathleen looked up puzzled.

"What?"

"You keep rubbing your hand against my chest," she said thickly.

"Sorry" Kathleen smirked. Though they both knew she wasn't. They both knew something had changed between them over night.

Feeling her arousal heighten Olivia wisely untangled herself from Kathleen before rolling out of bed. She grabbed a robed from the hooks on her wall before turning back to the blonde who was still staring up at the detective smiling adorably. _She knows exactly what she's doing to me._

"I'll just go put some coffee on, pancakes ok for you?" the brunette whispered unable to mask the arousal in her voice at seeing the blonde who was now uncovered by the blanket and her nightdress that had during the night raised to just below the blondes smaller breasts, her taught torso on show as well as the tantalising view of the small panties that hugged the blondes hips seductively.

"Yeah, I love pancakes." The blonde stretched out further shifting a little which revealed the tell tale wet patch on her panties.

Olivia gasped and hurriedly fled from the room.

Kathleen emerged a few minutes later to the sweet smell of pancakes and syrup permeating around the apartment. Olivia turned hearing the blondes approach.

"You look very fetching in my robe."

**A/N: So things between the two have shifted, will Olivia allow something to happen? What do you guys think Olivia should do? Will Kathleen make her move? I know everyone says this but reviews really do make you review faster. So you know, review =P **


	10. Chapter 10: Perfect

Chapter 10 – Perfect

**A/N: I watched this show earlier that was debating gay marriage and whether its right, it got me really riled up because I think that everyone deserves to find love, love is something special that everyone deserves, gender shouldn't even come in to it. I dedicate this chapter to everyone out there who needs a little love or agrees that love in all its forms should be cherished not persecuted. I truly hope that everyone has a special someone that makes them smile, even for a little while. Oh and on that show there was this one awesome woman who said something I thought was awesome, I quote, "If you don't like gay marriage blame straight people. They're the ones who keep having gay babies."**

**Quinn: **I'm glad you're hooked. You might just get your request this chapter. **Wiggles:** Sorry but I am a tease LOL I'm glad you love it. **abbierena: **Yep a step closer! Maybe they will get closer this time. **Kryss: **I am a huge sarcastic person, I love writing dialogue for these two. **Lamia of the Dark: **I'm not sure yet, I'm letting my muse run this. **prentiss-be-mine: **I agree LOL =) **I'llbearound: **Yeah things probably would be awkward between Olivia and Elliot if anything happens.

**It really goes without saying, I DO NOT OWN SVU! So here is more of the story, hope you enjoy!**

"Liv, you look like crap." Elliot said concerned that his partner was working too hard. The bags under her eyes seemed bigger than yesterday; anyone could see that the strong woman had been having trouble sleeping.

"Thanks El." Olivia retorted sarcastically, "Way to make a girl feel good about herself." She shot daggers at her partner before rubbing her dry tired eyes and resting her heavy head on the desk in front of her.

"Maybe you should go catch some sleep in the cribs. I'll come wake you if anything happens." Concern was evident in the older detective's voice.

"Fine. But you better wake me Stabler." Olivia knew that she needed to get some sleep, ever since Kathleen had spent the night last week her dreams had become even more vivid now that Olivia knew what the smaller women felt like curled around her in bed, even if then it was only to sleep her mind was twisting it into so much more.

Olivia groaned, forcing her body to comply and dragged herself up to the sanctuary of the cribs. She was out before her head even hit the pillow.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

"Hey Dad." Kathleen stopped by her father's desk eyes searching for a head of chestnut locks as she entered the squad room. "Olivia around?"

"Yeah she went up to the cribs a few hours ago; poor thing was dead on her feet." Elliot told his daughter. "Seems like something is keeping her up at night." Kathleen smiled at this, wondering if it was the same thing that was causing her to wake panting at night. Whether she plagued the brunette's dreams as much as her own consisted of the toned detective.

"You think I could go see her now?" Elliot smiled at his daughter, he loved that his daughter and his partner were becoming fast friends, both seemed happier for it. Elliot even got to see more of Kathleen.

"Yeah she should be waking soon anyway. She never seems to be able to sleep for more than a few hours at a time during a case." Elliot gave his daughter a hug before she made her way through the busy room towards the stairway that led to the cribs upstairs.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

Olivia started awake at the creak the door made as it opened revealing a smiling blonde. She rose to sitting position leaning against the wall facing Kathleen, smiling fondly at her newest friend.

"Hey Olivia, sorry if I woke you." Kathleen apologised as she approached the now fully awake detective.

"It's ok. I should be getting up now anyway; you never know what trouble the guys are causing downstairs." She laughed a little at her own joke; breathe hitching as the young blonde sat down next to her, shoulder to shoulder, thighs pressed together deliciously.

"You have a nice sleep?"

"U-uh yep. It was pleasant." Olivia blushed remembering the dream she had been in the midst of before the cribs creaky door disturbed her.

Kathleen noticed the blush rising across the brunette and quickly surmised the type of dream she had interrupted, hoping that she was the star of this particular woman's obviously intimate dream.

"I've been thinking allot lately." Kathleen looked at Olivia, turning her body into the detective slightly.

"Y-yeah?" Olivia stammered at their closeness.

"Uh huh. About us." The blonde shuffled closer still.

"Us?" The detective's throat became dry. Not sure if she wanted to hear what the blonde was about to say. She knew her resolve was beginning to be eroded by the captivating beauty.

"Hmmm. About what we are. What we could be. We both know that just friends isn't possible." She looked deeply into chocolate eyes, pleading with Olivia to admit it.

"I think you might be right Kathleen." Olivia whispered, her eyes dropping under Kathleen's intense gaze. "I can't stop thinking about you." She admitted.

The blonde's heart began to beta faster; she was worried that the detective would hear it. She reached out to clasp Olivia's slightly larger hand. Olivia looked down at their entangled digits before looking back up into brilliant blue eyes.

"I can't stop thinking about you either Olivia. I've never felt like this before." A single tear trailed its way down creamy white skin. Olivia reached up with her free hand to wipe away the tear that caused her own eyes to fill up.

"Please don't cry sweetie." Olivia's voice thick with unshed tears.

"I'm sorry it's just, it's getting harder to pretend that I don't feel this way, it hurts knowing that this, whatever is between us is mutual but you don't want to give me a chance. Am I not goo . . ."

"You better not finish that sentence Kathleen;" Olivia gently scolded the younger woman "You are more than good enough for me."Olivia willed the blonde to hear the truth in her words.

"Then why don't you want me?" the blonde continued to cry softly.

"I do want you Kathleen. More than anything." Olivia traced her thumb over Kathleen's knuckles. "You mean so much to me Kathleen. I really like you."

"Then why won't you give this a chance. And please don't say my father! He shouldn't have any say in who I fall for. Who you fall for."

Olivia sighed.

"I think I just . . . Kathleen I admit that I have fallen for you. Hard. I feel more for you than I've ever felt for anyone but . . . I'm not good at this. I can't do this. Every relationship I have falls apart, leaving me . . ."

"I won't hurt you Olivia." Kathleen rose to her knees facing the now also crying brunette.

"But what if I hurt you? It's what I'm best at." Olivia sighed softly, defeated at her own words. She knew that Elliot was only part of why she was reluctant to start anything with the beautiful woman next to her. She knew that in time she would run things and she wanted to save them both from inevitable pain.

"I'm willing to take the risk Olivia. The question is, are you?" Kathleen pressed on. "Do you feel enough for me that you want this?" She watched so many different emotions flitter across the detective's face that she couldn't keep up.

"I want you Olivia. Forget about everything else for a minute and answer me honestly. Do you want me?" Kathleen husked, the double meaning in her words causing her arousal to peak.

Olivia swallowed, mesmerised, hypnotised, Kathleen's voice a seductive murmur.

Kathleen saw Olivia's barely there nod. Slowly, carefully watching for any signs of rejection she crawled so that she was straddling the taller woman's lap. She used her dainty fingers to raise Olivia's chin, forcing the brunette to look at her.

Olivia looked up at the woman straddling her; she felt herself grow wetter but also felt her heart swell at the adoration and affection in the blonde's clear eyes.

She could do nothing but comply. So she did nothing, nothing but watch Kathleen's luscious lips inch closer. When she went out of focus Olivia closed her eyes and waited, but not for long. Kathleen's sweet cherry red lips finally brushed against her own fuller ones, she took a snatched breath, and moaned softly into the kiss.

Kathleen's lips were soft and loving in their assault, her mouth sweet to the taste. Kathleen was the first to pull away and stare longingly into Olivia's confused eyes. Olivia placed her hands on Kathleen's dainty wrists and seductively slid her hands slowly up to her elbows, then to her shoulders, she kept contact with Kathleen soft skin before sliding her fingers to her delicate neck, she gently fingered it with her thumb, she slid her fingers to Kathleen's golden locks and urged Kathleen's lips back to her own.

Olivia parted her kiss swollen lips begging for entrance, Kathleen happily obliged, and she massaged her tongue with her own. The kiss became more impatient and frantic as time passed; Olivia sucked Kathleen's tongue into her mouth and continued to suck it gently before nibbling Kathleen's lower lip, Kathleen moaned the softest moan Olivia had ever heard and their urgency increased.

Olivia finally lifted her head and placed a final kiss to Kathleen's lips before her eyes glazed over with unshed tears.

"Wow." Kathleen breathed.

"That was . . ." Olivia tried to form words.

"Perfect." Kathleen whispered. Olivia smiled at the blonde in her lap, drawing her into her open arms.

"It was. But I have to work. Can we talk about this another time?" She gently pushed the blonde off her lap crossing her legs trying to ease the burn that had increased tenfold the moment the sexy blonde climbed into her lap.

"S-sure." Kathleen sighed disappointed that they couldn't talk right now. She leaned forward capturing Olivia's waiting lips once again before pulling back smiling as Olivia whimpered at the loss of contact.

Olivia watched the hypnotic sway of Kathleen gorgeous figure as she left the cribs.

**A/N: Hope this was worth the wait. I wanted their first kiss to be about the strong feelings they were gripped by and not be caused be sexual frustration. Please review to let me know what you think. My first kissing scene ever. Next up Olivia talks it out with Casey. I know everyone says this but reviews really do make you review faster. So you know, review =P**


	11. Chapter 11: We kissed!

Chapter 11 – We kissed!

**A/N: Sometimes all you can do is laugh to keep yourself from crying, so my request to you guys is to take some time today and just have a good laugh. It will do you the world of good. I'm glad the kiss was well received. **

**underc0vergirl:** I'm glad you're hooked, it makes writing this so much better. **Quinn: **I hope you will like how they end up getting together, it's a little unconventional. **Calzona:** I'm glad you thought it was sexy but still filled with emotion. **Lamia of the Dark: **Patience, I'm sure you will like how things will be discovered.** abbierena: **I aim to please. I'm glad you liked the kiss. I was a bit worried about it as I've never written a scene like that before.

**It really goes without saying, I DO NOT OWN SVU! So here is more of the story, hope you enjoy!**

_Last time: _"S-sure." Kathleen sighed disappointed that they couldn't talk right now. She leaned forward capturing Olivia's waiting lips once again before pulling back smiling as Olivia whimpered at the loss of contact.

Olivia watched the hypnotic sway of Kathleen gorgeous figure as she left the cribs.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

_Holy shit. I . . . we . . . kissed. WOW!_ Olivia was still sat, back against the wall 5 minutes after Kathleen had left the cribs.

Pulling herself together the young detective stood up, brushing away the wrinkles from her clothes before walking towards the door Kathleen had exited minutes before. With a last deep breath she pushed the creaky door open.

Olivia looked down on the rest of the squad room. _Fuck, she's still here. Oh my God she's sitting on my desk. That's hot! It looks so different from when Casey sits like that. _Gathering all her wits about her she descended the stairs, walking towards the woman she'd just had the most passionate, most meaningful kiss of her life with. Who also happened to be laughing at something her father just said.

Elliot looked up seeing Olivia approach. "Sleeping beauty rises." He joked. "I was wondering if I would have to send up Munch with his coffee to force you out of bed, but it looks like my daughters done the trick." _Gulp._ Olivia shot a panicked look at Kathleen who was desperately trying to hide a fit of giggles behind her hand.

"Are you ok?" Elliot asked after Olivia didn't have some witty remark to throw back at him.

"Y-yeah. Fantastic. Never been better." Olivia rambled, blushing as Kathleen winked at her from her perch on Olivia's desk, uncrossing and re-crossing her legs making Olivia blush even more prominently.

"Casey called, she can get us that warrant but someone needs to pick it up." Elliot informed his partner who was acting very strangely. "I can do it if you keep Kathleen company, she's staying at home tonight so I offered to take her once my shift ends in . . ." Elliot checks his watch. "Two hours."

"Oh no, it's ok." Kathleen's face fell at Olivia's words, but her smile quickly reappeared when Olivia smiled reassuringly at her and shock her head, silently telling Kathleen not to think the worst, that she wasn't trying to avoid her. "I really need to talk to her anyway, so I'll go."

"Are you sure, Kathleen would probably proffer your company?" Elliot smiled at Olivia; she was having a great influence on his daughter.

"Really. I'm sure. I needed to see her anyway. I'll see you later El." She turned to Kathleen. "It was lovely seeing you again Kathleen." She discreetly squeezed Kathleen's hand before leaving the room.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

"Casey?" Olivia walked into the redhead's office without knocking. Her kiss with Kathleen still swirling in her head. It had been amazing and she really needed to talk to her female best friend about it.

"Ever heard of knocking Liv?" Casey lectured her best friend. "What if I was talking to someone?"

Looking more closely at Olivia Casey realised the brunette was about to burst.

"What is it?" Casey asked concerned.

"We kissed!" Olivia blurted out, throwing herself onto the small leather sofa in the corner of the room.

"You kissed her?" Casey was shocked, in all the times they had spoken of the attraction between Olivia and Kathleen Olivia had been adamant that nothing would ever come of it.

"Technically she kissed me but yeah I kissed her back."Olivia pinched the bridge of her nose. "What am I supposed to do Casey? I could pretend that this wasn't happening but know that I know what it's like to kiss her? I want to do it again. And again. Fuck!"

"Olivia calm down! Forget about everything else for a minute. What was it like?" Casey wanted Olivia to really think about what the kiss meant to her, and not about anyone else's reactions. Olivia deserved more than anyone else she knew to be happy. She deserved to be able to gush about a kiss she so clearly enjoyed.

"It was . . . Perfect. I've never felt so much from one kiss before, it's like every ounce of feeling we've been hiding and fighting all this time was poured into that one kiss and it was . . . perfect. She um . . . she straddled my lap, I thought I was going to have a heart attack, she looked so beautiful, breathtakingly so. When our lips touched it was like nothing else mattered, it was so intense, I didn't want it to end. Oh my God . . ."

"What? What is it?" Casey sat down next to her.

"I've never felt like this before!" Casey laughed at her friend; she had thought something was wrong.

"Don't laugh Casey. It's not funny. What am I supposed to do?" the normally together detective was incredibly flustered.

"I think you owe it to yourself and to Kathleen to see where this will go. I've never seen you like this before Olivia." Casey gave Olivia hug, which the older woman melted into.

"You really think so?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, I do. You've tried so hard not to go there and its obviously not working. For both of you so, heck just go with it. Live a little." Casey smiled at the brunette who was holding on to her like her life depended on it. "When have I ever been wrong?" Pulling away from the friendly comforting hug Olivia raised her eyebrow. "Don't answer that."

"Thanks Casey." Olivia laughed. "Can you give me the warrant now? El said Fin and Munch need it ASAP. He texted me on the way telling me to hurry my ass up." Olivia was also desperate to get back to the percent to see Kathleen before she left.

"Sure." Casey smiled knowingly at her friend who just rolled her eyes in response. The redhead grabbed the blue forms from her desk before handing them to the woman whose smile had grown bigger, she was obviously thinking about the kiss again. Casey couldn't help but think of how cute the whole thing was.

"Thanks. I'll see you later Case." Olivia kissed her friends cheek before hurriedly making her way out of the office.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

"How long does it take Olivia?" Elliot asked his partner as she handed him the warrant before he sauntered off to give it to Munch and Fin after hearing her lamely come up with some excuse of having to talk to Casey about girl stuff.

Kathleen giggled flirtatiously at Olivia's response to her father's jib.

"How was your talk with Casey?" Kathleen asked, hoping for a good answer.

"Let's just say it was helpful, very insightful." Olivia smiled at Kathleen, willing her to hear the meaning behind her words.

Kathleen smiled back at her, the smile that make Olivia week at the knees, her breath catches as Kathleen's even pearly white teeth shine at her, teeth she remembers touching with her tongue. Olivia watches her, aching for her, her gaze flittered to Kathleen perfect lips, she remembered the kiss they shared, their first kiss. It had robbed her of her breath.

**A/N: Sorry this chapter took a bit longer to post but I've been getting ready for my second year at uni and things have been pretty hectic, classes start on Monday. Hope you liked Casey and Olivia's chat. Please review to let me know what you think. Next up things get a little heated. I know everyone says this but reviews really do make you review faster. So you know, review =P**


	12. Chapter 12: Give me time

Chapter 12 – Give me time

**A/N: Reality is over-rated. Who needs it? That is why we have fan fiction. So yeah hope this brings you guys some relief from your days. I am so sorry for the very long break I took but sometimes life happens and yeah you have to take a break from things when there are things to be done of a higher priority. On a good note, I want to mention something that has really gone well for me. I met the love of my life in September, Katherine, so I've spent time getting to know her, and she is incredible. She is also now my beta. I love you Katherine. Check her out if you like Grey's Anatomy – Katherine1183**

**underc0vergirl: **I am so glad you loved it. Sorry for the long wait. **abbierena: **I am so glad you love Casey in this story, and yeah she is right, maybe Olivia should live a little. **Calzona: **Yeah Casey is a great best friend to Olivia. **Ryan Maze: **I'm glad you like it! **prentiss-be-mine: **Adorable? YAY. The heat will come :P **Katherine1183: **So my beautiful beautiful love I'm glad you love this story baby. And I think I know what it got you thinking of, you might want to revisit your last comment so that you know what I'm talking about babe. Yep Casey is full of good advice. I rob your breath? Awwww. A bit later than December oooops :S I loved you reviews babe. I love you. **Lillian: **I will work on making Olivia's character non-one-dimensional. But if Olivia seems off I'd like to just say, love does crazy things to people, and personally I love that. **Ilikeeggs: **Suck eggs? Uh? Should I be offended?

**It really goes without saying, I DO NOT OWN SVU! So here is more of the story, hope you enjoy!**

_Last time:_ "How was your talk with Casey?" Kathleen asked, hoping for a good answer.

"Let's just say it was helpful, very insightful." Olivia smiled at Kathleen, willing her to hear the meaning behind her words.

Kathleen smiled back at her, the smile that make Olivia week at the knees, her breath catches as Kathleen's even pearly white teeth shine at her, teeth she remembers touching with her tongue. Olivia watches her, aching for her, her gaze flittered to Kathleen perfect lips, she remembered the kiss they shared, their first kiss. It had robbed her of her breath.

**XoxoxoxoxoxoxoX**

_Why can't I get her out of my head. _Olivia pondered as she lay awake for in the cribs for the third night in a row. Ever since her kiss with Kathleen on this very bed, the brunette had been avoiding the younger woman, running out on pointless errands whenever the blonde graced the bullpen. _Why can't I just go for it or completely forget about her. _So deep in thought was the detective that she hadn't heard the creak of the door. She only became aware of the other persons presence as they walked into one of the low bunks.

"Shit", Kathleen grumbled rubbing her shin, startling the detective into an upright position. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you quite so abruptly" the blonde apologised thankful the dark disguised her growing blush.

"I wasn't asleep." The brunette detective knew her tone was harsh but she couldn't help but be brash, why couldn't she just get the blonde out of her head. She had come to the conclusion that she needed more time, to be sure she wanted to cause friction in her friendship with Elliot by becoming involved with his daughter.

"Um ok" The blonde was confused. Until it clicked, Olivia hadn't been too busy to see her lately. She'd been avoiding her. Oh no, she regretted their kiss. But it had been perfect. She'd said so herself.

"Olivia?" Kathleen ventured, struggling to keep the tears from thickening her voice. "Do you regret what happened? Do you regret our kiss?"

Olivia sighed. How could she answer that? _Of course I don't regret that kiss, it was, it was the most meaningful kiss I have ever had. I want to do it again; I think I want to do it now. _"It's not that I regret it Kathleen. I just… I need to think things over more. Before I commit to anything ok? I need to think about this logically. I need to think about how this will affect my friendship with your father."

"Why do you keep doing this to me Olivia? You should just choose and not keep dragging me along." Kathleen replied.

"That.."

"No." Kathleen interrupted, needing to say her piece. "It's my turn Olivia. You can't keep doing this. You can't kiss me, toy with my emotions like that and then leave me hanging. It's hard Olivia. It's like your calling all the shots and I'm just supposed to sit back and take it, and kiss you or whatever when you say so. It doesn't work like that. You're an adult Olivia, and so am I, this isn't wrong. My father will just have to get over himself."

"I uh. Wow." Olivia was once again surprised by the young woman's wise words, yet she couldn't seem to take them on board, not fully. Her friendship with Elliot is what has kept her sane for so long that it was what she held most dear. Losing that would hurt, maybe too much. "Kathleen…" Olivia sighed.

"I still need to think this through ok? Please just let me do that. This is huge ok? Elliot is like my family. I cannot lose him. I know it's difficult but don't write me off completely ok? Not just yet." Olivia shuffled on the bed, tapping the now free space for the younger woman to take residence.

Kathleen looked down at the woman before her, and saw the internal struggle in her brown eyes. She slowly stepped forward and perched herself next to the brunette on the cotton sheets. Kathleen tentatively scooted so that her back was against the wall, her arm mere centimetres from the darker haired beauty.

Getting comfortable Kathleen contemplated what to say next, in her mind everything was so clear, she liked Olivia, more than liked her. She could feel the connection they shared almost as well as she could feel the cool temperature of the wall behind her against her back.

"So what happens now?" Kathleen ventured.

"You give me time. Let me sort my head out."

"And then?" the blonde knew she sounded like a petulant child asking if they were there yet, but she didn't care.

"And then I will let you know." Olivia stated.

"Seriously?" Kathleen contested in disbelief. She just had to wait, on the off chance Olivia decided to give her a chance.

"What more do you want me to say Kathleen?" Olivia tried to defend herself.

"You're infuriating!" Kathleen stressed.

"Excuse me?" confused Olivia turned towards the blonde.

"Why can't you just see how easy this is? We have something that could become really special Olivia, how can you not jump at the chance to be happy? With me?" Kathleen looked vulnerable.

Olivia felt ashamed of herself. _Look at what you're doing to the girl; she's barely holding back tears. _Olivia reached out to take the younger woman's hand in hers in attempt to comfort her, both not expecting the sparks they felt such simple contact.

Kathleen turned her small shoulders towards Olivia as Olivia did the same.

"Don't you feel that?" the blonde whispered.

"Yes." The brunette husked.

"Don't you want be take a chance?"

"I.."

"Am I not enough?"

"That's not.."

"Look into my eyes Olivia" Kathleen leaned forward a little.

"I.." Olivia trailed off.

"Can't you feel that between us Olivia? You said you do but really, feel it."

Olivia closed her eyes felt what it was Kathleen was talking about, something undefinable. Upon opening her eyes the detective found that Kathleen had moved closed, her face almost touching her own.

"I.." Kathleen interrupted Olivia by closing the gap and pressing her lips against the full ones of the woman breathing heavily in front of her.

Feeling Olivia begin to participate in the kiss Kathleen reached up and placed her small hand on the olive toned woman's cheek, flushed from the intimacy of the kiss. Olivia felt herself give in to the feeling of being kissed by the younger woman, moaning in to the kiss she too placed a hand on the blondes cheek, stroking it with her thumb before siding her hand up to tangle in blonde waves.

As the kiss began to get more passionate Kathleen shifted to her knees forcing the female detective to slide back to allow her to kneel between her toned thighs. Kathleen smiled into the kiss, she couldn't believe how much she could feel from just one kiss. How was it even possible to feel so much.

Kathleen felt Olivia moan again and pull her closer making her feel more confident, she daringly let her hand wander from Olivia's cheek to tease the woman's neck before slowly, almost waiting to be told to stop, letting her small hand wander to the other woman's full breasts. Kathleen felt the firmness of Olivia's breast against her palm. Olivia moaned in her throat and leaned into Kathleen's soft touch.

Growing more confident Kathleen let her thumb gently tease Olivia's nipple through her shirt. Olivia felt herself growing even more aroused, wetness pooling between her legs. Taking it that little bit further Kathleen pinched Olivia's hardened nipple between her thumb and forefinger, causing Olivia to moan loudly and grasp Kathleen's tiny hips and flip her onto the bed. Kathleen although surprised by this move loved it; she loved feeling Olivia on top of her, their breasts touching.

Olivia deepened the kiss further, sucking Kathleen's tongue into her mouth.

"Mmmhmm" Kathleen moaned in appreciation. She showed Olivia just how much she appreciated that move by sliding her hand from its home on Olivia's breast down her toned tight tummy before taking both of them by surprise and rubbing the juncture between Olivia's legs over the centre seem in her pants.

The action seemed to sober Olivia and she quickly pulled away from the young blonde, sitting back on her feet, sit straddling the blonde and still breathing heavily.

Kathleen still had her eyes closed, her breathing still fast. She was afraid to open them, dread becoming increasingly present in her tummy. Please don't do this again.

Olivia looked down at the young women under her; the sight caused her to become even more turned on if that was even possible. Kathleen was on her back her chest rising and falling in quick succession her cheeks beautiful flushed with arousal and her blonde hairs splayed around her head like a halo on sheets that protected her from the cot. Olivia's breath caught as she saw the blonde tense and screw up her eyes. _Shit, Olivia. She's afraid you're going to reject her again. How could you let yourself do this._

Kathleen couldn't stop the tear that escaped down her cheek, not even by screwing up her eyes tight. All she could think was oh God no, please don't do this again Olivia.

Olivia felt her heart break as she saw the tiny tear the young woman was so desperately trying to hold back slide down her cheek. In that moment she knew just what to do. Olivia leant down and gently kissed the tear away, her lips lingering softly on the prone woman's cheek.

Kathleen attentively opened her blue eyes and looked into the eyes of the woman straddling her.

"…" Kathleen tried to speak but she couldn't find the words, she was so sure Olivia would push her away again.

"Are you ok sweetie?" Olivia asked, amused at the confusions clearly panted across the blondes picturesque face.

" I … uh …"

Olivia smiled before leaning down to capture the blonde's lips in a kiss again before climbing off the woman and helping her into a sitting position beside her.

They sat beside each other for a little while, neither saying a thing. Neither daring to break the spell.

"Are you … I mean are we… I mean … What?" Kathleen tried to form a cohesive sentence.

Olivia smiled; she had to figure a way to do this before anything happened between them. She couldn't risk hurting the girl more than she already had. She needed to make sure she was 100% sure she could do this before building Kathleen's hopes up any further.

"Let me work through my feelings and confusion about this first and I will get back to you Kathleen, I promise." Olivia could sense that Kathleen was about to interrupt again so she quickly continued. "I'm not saying this will happen sweetie but I'm also not saying it won't. I want it to, I really do. And I'm going to try to get myself to find a way that we can do this."

Kathleen didn't know whether to feel relived or even more frustrated so she settled for both. She was glad Olivia hadn't pushed her away again and told her they weren't to do this, but then she was so frustrated that Olivia kept her at arm's length, calling the shots. Why couldn't' she see they were meant to be?

Olivia turned her body more fully towards the smaller woman who in turn did the same, Olivia encased the blondes hand in her own. They didn't speak. Their eyes connected and they sat and stared at each other. Getting lost in the depths of the other soul.

Both could feel the heat rising between them again. It was Olivia who spoke first.

"If we sit here much longer just looking at each other I'm scared something will happen between us."

Perching on the end of the bed Olivia gathers Kathleen in her arms and lingeringly kissed her temple. She can't do this, seduce her. But it wouldn't be seduction would it? If she touched her, Kathleen would give in. Olivia was almost frightened by her feelings; she got to her feet quickly and ran out.

Kathleen followed the retreating woman with her eyes, sighing as that door creaked closed behind her. She sat on the cot for a while longer, pondering what just happened, gazing aimlessly around the room before leaving the cribs more confused than she was when she arrived.

**A/N: Hope you liked the cribs scene. Please review to let me know what you think. Next up is a chapter you will not want to miss, it's what you've all been waiting for, I hope. I know everyone says this but reviews really do make you review faster. So you know, review =P**


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